You Better Learn to Enjoy Your New Life

There is something so important that is often not understood by those trying to reach lofty goals. That is, you must learn to enjoy your new life if you expect to keep it. If you’re dieting then you must learn to enjoy your new life of exercise and healthy food options. If you’re an entrepreneur then you must learn to enjoy working on the progressing steps required to grow a business. If you’re overcoming an addiction, such as porn addiction, then you must learn to enjoy a simple, happy life that does not require constant stimulation. Whenever you start a venture to make you’re life better there is the temptation to doubt your success and worry that you will just fail soon. Stop! That is addiction trying to pull you back into addiction. You are in control as soon as you make the decision to be in control and believe your success is real. Like the Apostle Peter walking out onto the water to meet Christ, you will be successful so long as you believe in the success you are having and keep going. The moment you start to doubt and the waves and the wind cause you to worry, you will begin to sink again.

Like I said, there is the temptation to doubt your success is real. This is exactly the time when you need to let go of the doubts that will hold you back from complete freedom. You have become very familiar and comfortable with these doubts after repeated failures. So they have become your security blanket because they are what you know. However, you must convince yourself that it is ok to let go of these doubts and venture into the unknown new life you are not yet familiar with. In due time, say a month or so, you will start to become quite comfortable and confident in this new way of living.

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So how do you start this process of becoming more happy with your new life. First of all you need to decide you hate your old life. That will probably be easy since it has brought you pain. What won’t be easy is consistently hating it and deciding it is not an acceptable way to live when relatively boring times come. You see, you’ve been in the habit of comparing a simple, happy life with no stimulates to an addicting life full of temporary excitement and stimulation. It can be difficult to convince your mind and body that the new life is better when you will feel far less stimulation at first. I call this the “Getting over the wave” stage and compare it to Tom Hanks in the movie “Cast Away”, in which he worked so hard to escape a deserted island. The problem he faced was that the waves were too big and kept washing him back to the island. He even got hurt trying this and just wanted to die. However, he decided to keep trying and come up with a new plan and eventually got over the waves and out to the open sea. You need to get past those huge waves of temptation that will wash you back into your old way of living. You’ve trained your mind and body to misuse the body to have temporary excitement. They will fiercely resist this change at first but then they will learn to enjoy a normal life as you retrain them.

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The next thing you need to do to enjoy your new life is to stop looking for some future rose happiness and start finding the happiness of every day living.

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” – Dale Carnegie

“We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.” -Voltaire

Those are some great quotes which sum up nicely what I had to work very hard to learn myself. Its difficult to believe this, especially when your life has been ruled by addiction, but life can be absolutely great every single day. What’s the secret? Well, its no secret at all. You possess it right now and it is called free agency, or choice. You can decide to be happy and productive right now. In fact it is better that you decide right now rather than later. You can decide to replace addiction with healthy, happy, and wholesome things. You can decide by simply waking up every morning and deciding you are the one who controls your life and your attitude. Addiction has convinced you that you do not have this control but that is a lie.

Life is full of ups and downs and plenty of challenges. You must learn to have a positive attitude and see this as an opportunity to learn to be happy in all circumstances in life. External circumstances do not determine happiness. Internal thoughts and emotions do. The sooner you realize that your happiness is your choice the better. If you have a habit of thinking negative towards yourself and others then your efforts to overcome addicton are being sabotaged.

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“If we think happy thoughts, we will be happy. If we think miserable thoughts, we will be miserable.” – Dale Carnegie

When you begin to set goals to overcome masturbation or pornography just decide to be stubbornly positive in your thinking. Decide to take joy in the simple new life. This does not mean do nothing. Of course you must get out there and replace addiction with new activities. When you start to have some success and are tempted to worry or doubt, just relax, take a deep breath and decide to stubbornly believe in yourself. Your addiction will at first be stubborn but will eventually succumb to your new way of thinking and living. So look at it as sort of a fight between you and your addiction. Who will be more stubborn? Of course you will because you want your life back. Besides, the joy that comes from a simple, happy and productive life will far outlive the temporary excitement of your old life and the huge difference is YOU will be in control and not the addiction. In fact, do not associate yourself with your old life anymore. Say, “That’s my old life, that’s not me anymore” and truly believe this.

6 thoughts on “You Better Learn to Enjoy Your New Life”

  1. I would really really love to meet you inperson man,you deserve a nobel prize thank for this beautiful article I really thought you were talking to about me

    GOD BLESS YOU MAN and greetings from Egypt

  2. Thanks much. you don’t know how much this means to me, thanks again.
    GOD bless you.

  3. Good stuff. I have no desire to ever return to porn. It has stripped me of my self esteem and my security.

    People may ask, ‘why does a good God allow bad things to happen,’ but I can tell you that we have, as you mention, free will. We choose our lives and our sexuality is no different.

    I had been addicted for 27 years. I started at 13 with a magazine under my brother’s bed. It’s been about four months now and I’m enduring the worst of the withdrawal symptoms–tremendous anxiety, insecurity, and even physical pain … and the anger with having done something so selfish and yet so self destructive. I have many things to do yet, including getting “over the wave” of tears!

    I’ll be reading more of your articles!

  4. Thank you for providing this information to all of us. I have been addicted since I was Thirteen, and I am now turning 21 soon.

    Every time I slip up, I come straight back to this website, and it gives me real hope that I have the ability to push through this addiction.

    God Bless you and your efforts!

  5. Hi
    you are doing a great job.May Allah bless you on this honestful work.These problems are ordinary but cure of these problems in not ordinary.It is very difficult task which is performed by you.You may don’t know that you are doing a work which is the most basic duty.
    Wellfare of human being was the most primitive task of every prophet and now it is on us to preach their message.I am also a masturbation patient and many times i tried to get rid of this habit but i failed.I know my fault which was the cause of my failure but i didn’t realize it.

    By reading your articles i come to know my fault.I tried several times to leave my bad habit of masturbating but after right 7 days i became first 6 days after masturbation were not so difficultbut after 7 days i felt a great need to masturbate.I did not know about this.but today i read your article and i came to realise that it is due to sucessive rise in testosterone level which completes in 7 days.So after reading your faithful and inspiring articles i have been determined to leave this habit forever.It is not difficult for me.
    InshAllah i will succeed.

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