Using Prisoner of War Methods to Deal with Lonliness and Addiction Captivity

I was talking to a friend one time and asked him the question, “How does a person deal with lonliness?” He said, “Good question, let me think about the answer and get back to you.” I called him a couple days later and he said, “I have an answer for you on that lonliness question.” I was of course excited and said, “What is it?” He said, “I talked to a friend and she said we must become a shepard.” I was not interested in that occupation so I said, “What do you mean?” He said,”We must forget about ourselves and serve others, watch over others as a shepard watches over sheep. Lonliness is caused in part by thinking only of ourselves.” Hmm, this was a good enough answer for me and so I started to get out more and serve people. I helped people move, I did yard work, I painted rooms in houses, and I befriended other lonely people. It felt great! I was not consistent with this though and soon fell into just thinking about me again which led to acting out in my addictions again.

There is no doubt that porn addiction or any addiction for that matter, makes us feel even more alone than we felt before. The guilt, shame, and pain make us feel hopeless and unliked by others. Of course this is all a lie and the only reason we start to think like this is because we are blinded by the darkness brought about by addiction. It’s really tough to see the truth when your life is full of lies. That’s the captivity that comes with addiction. We are held captive in part by lies that we find difficult to escape. In fact this is very much a personal war.

One day I came across some training for prisoners of war (POW’s) that really helped me understand how to better fight this war on lonliness and captivity. I found it interesting that coping with an enemy to your country was very similar to coping with the enemy of your soul. So here are the coping methods I came across:

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Titled “Pyschological Aspects of Captivity – Coping Methods”

Conviction of Purpose
The most important coping method is to develop conviction of purpose:

How do I fit into the “big picture” from national goals to Service objectives to the unit mission?

What personal standards am I committed to? Develop confidence in your training and professional preparation by focusing particularly on the hurdles and obstacles you have overcome to get to this point in your career.

Faith Keeping – Establish and “keep the faith” with yourself, family, Service, fellow captives, nation, and God.

Reject False Logic – It is false logic to think that survival is contingent upon compliance with captors

Recognize and resolve Conflicting Pressures – Recognize and resolve conflicting pressures from captor and self


Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) – Keep a positive mental attitude by being stubbornly optomistic. Resist destructive thought processes. Take heart in any small victory won over captors. Overcome aversions by learning to tolerate discomfort versus demanding the circumstances change. Reduce anxiety by placing captors into patterns of predictability.

Use Directed Imagery –(Structured Daydreaming). Think about the future and positive things. Create mental exercises by inventing objects, making up stories, learning new skills, keeping a mental diary, planning escape, or anything that will keep your mind occupied in a positive manner. Do not focus on mistakes made in the past or let guilt or regrets come into play – your captors want this.


Be Engaged – An “engaged” captive is not a “passive recipient.” Being a passive recipent leads to hoplessness, helplessness, compliance, or despair (i.e., won’t try to resolve problems or improve the situation. Engaged captives will make some mistakes but they will be able to learn and bouce back.

Take Control – Focus on things within your control (daily schedule, will to resist and communication).

Internal Actions – Order your thoughts, appraise the situation, study and predict the environment(remember, your Situational Awareness is an ongoing, continual process)

External Actions – Be assertive, insist on rights under the Geneva Conventions. Commuicate health and welfare issues to captors. Be persistent.

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Health and Hygiene – Improve on sanitary conditions. Get into a physical fitness routine. Develop consistent habits concerning personal health and hygiene.

Recognize Small Victories – Usually by maintaining a sense of humor and turning it against captors. This can greatly improve morale and captivity survival.

Interact with Others

Communication – Directing your focus outward towards other fellow captives helps minimize self-absorbtion, despair and linliness.

Communications brings pespective to the situation and accountability for individual captive and group actions.

Without communication, no organization can exist.

Be consistent, convincing, and persistent in your communication with captors.

Use Humor – Humor can add a positive spin to difficult situations and can raise the morale of the individual captives and the group.

Group Affiliation and Accountability – A sense of belonging to a group engenders commitment to a cause. Being held accountable is an important aspect of keeping discipline within a group. Keeping discipline is the essence of organizing individuals and groups. In addition, discipline usually leads to routine, and routine can be extremely comforting in captivity.


Organize Routine(self and group) – Maintain a schedule(whenever possible)

A personal routine or schedule can be important as a means of gaining control over the captive’s life and the situation in captivity.

Staying occupied mentally at increments or intervals helps to break up a routine that is being forced on the captive.

Exercising regularly is essential to maintaining physical and psychological health.

Captive’s should utilize any regimen or routine they can adapt to their personal situation.

Plan and communicate regularly with fellow captives.

Strategize – For upcoming demands, prepare and rehearse in order to develop confidence. The better the group’s sense of preparedness is, the more the group’s efficiency will increase. The individual of the group can improve their sense of preparedness by setting realistic goals such as:

-Establish goals relative to the captivity envoronment and the developing situation (fatigue, sleep deprivation, etc.)
-Establish realistic expectations for yourself and others
-Focus on internal resolve and conviction of purpose

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Discomfort – Learn to tolerate discomfort. Remain focused on tasks at hand.

Overcome Aversions – To food, enviromental conditions, poor standards for health and hygiene, etc.

Flexibility – Any inflexibility by the captive will be exploited. Adapt to food language, culture, and fellow captives. Try to understand the motives without openly sympathizing or aiding in their cause.

Stay Stay Alive – Focus on your physical needs, such as food, hydration, sleep, etc.

Bounce Back – A captive should move on from mistakes made by themselves of fellow captives. Don’t dwell on mistakes.

Things to avoid

Worrying About Family – Reaffirm roles, convictions, faith, and confidence in pre-captivity preparations. Thinking about family is a source of strength for some captives. Worrying about them induces emotions and sets the captive up for failure. Remembering the good times and thinking about making them proud by returning with honor can be a great source of strength for increased will to resist.

Thinking Negatively of Self – Captives should not beat themselves down. Captives should learn from their mistakes and plan for the future.

Suicidal Thoughts – Avoid depressing thoughts of thinking about negative things that are beyond any captive’s control. Reaffirm the will to live and think about positive things to return home to.

Other Vulnerabilities – Used by captors to exploit captives. Most captives will experience symptoms of these conditions during captivity.

Captivity Dependency. Defined as the captor’s attempts to make the captive feel safer under their control and reduce the captive’s motivation to escape. The longer captives are in captivity, the more they will be conditioned and become accustomed to the captivity situation. The longer captives are in captivity, the less likely they will look for resistence and escape opportunities, unless they pursue these activities as a matter of routine.

Stockholm Syndrome. An irrational affinity with certain captors based, in part, on concessions of care or more humanizing treatment from captors.

5 thoughts on “Using Prisoner of War Methods to Deal with Lonliness and Addiction Captivity”

  1. Pingback: How Long Does it Take to Overcome Addiction? « Pornography and Masturbation Addiction Help

  2. This is the best advice i have ever received, esp the part
    “Reject False Logic – It is false logic to think that survival is contingent upon compliance with captors”.
    meaning (in my opinion) thinking that masturbation will help you not make it worse, yes it helps reduce stress for a while but its eating u up psychologically, impelling your soul, the essence of our identity (feeling helpless, ashamed, disgusted, not knowing where u fit in with good and “evil” all in all reduced self esteem and reduced self image)
    This psychological pain experienced through masturbation causes to masturbate again to reduce this bottomless feeling, and therefore proving the point that its false logic since your goal is to be free and masturbation just gives u a false sense of freedom and release you for a short while, and then it gets u back, a (vicious cycle) conclusively. Its illogical thinking masturbation helps stress it compounds it till it makes u think your nothing without it, your just a self indulgent piece of flesh, the product of physical pleasure.
    The analogy to this is, think of a person attached to a post with a rubber band,
    now think of the rubber band as “masturbation as an entity” and the post as the “center of ur captivity”( the reason ur not free to live life and act and think without masturbation)
    the rubber band (masturbation), lets u wonder for a while (not masturbating for a while) and u think that ur free, you think that the captors have given ur freedom, given back ur identity ur soul…., till the elastic band wont stretch anymore, it grims, ur confused you thought masturbation was good it helped ur freedom, it deceived you, masturbation takes a hold over you…u masturbate, take ur frustration out rebel, and the rubber band forces, plunges, drags, kidnaps u back in captivity, IN DESOLATION, where we cry for a little while… then we wonder again thinking it might let us go this time it might not have a hold on me this time…..
    YOU WILL NEVER BE FREE UNLESS U “Learn to tolerate discomfort. Remain focused on tasks at hand.” stay in that area where the rubber band is the strongest where u will need the most strength the will power the self conviction and break through once u broken the rubber band ur free for forever…..

    Maybe we should think of other things that reduce stress and make friends with them,masturbation isn’t the only way to reduce stress…

  3. Jeffrey S. Rafuse

    I am very greatful that this website is here. Every artical I have read thus far has helped me with this issue I have been dealing with for too long. I really do have sooo much to be thankfull for. This type of addiction is very much missunderstood in our world, and it’s a saving grace that the profesionals behind this website, and all it makes accessible to many people like myself.

    Thanks…mostly for helping me see and understand that I am a very beautiful person, that has has the world of bright oppertunities ahead of me. I am sure any addiction brings on the feeling of low self worth, and I am really helped by knowing how amazing I am, how needed I am, and just how beautiful life can truly be.

  4. I started using porn on the internet intensely a few days ago. I lost track of time and it has probably been a week or more actually that this poison has been harming me. I am glad to see that anyone cares enough to help me and others with this addiction get help in any way. I don’t want to lose any more of my life or potential relationships or current relationship time to this.

  5. I am trying to understand porn addiction. My husband is addicted and I can’t seem to get him to stop. He lies to me regarding the addiction, and that he is doing it. He finds times he can be alone with the computer. I find him up late at night and we argue about it. We have almost separated several times because of it. He lost his job and our home because of it (he made a lot of money with his old job). We had to move away to find work. Now we are alone (We only have each other). I have tried and tried to help him, to get his interest in our relationship but I can’t seem to get him interested at all. We have 2 grown children and one still in high school. I feel depressed, lonely and alone. What can I do for him and for our marriage. I have never seen me with anyone other than my husband. We were both virgins when we married and I can’t imaging being with anyone else. However, at this point I am so angry with him and we seem to be getting more and more detached from each other. I just don’t know what to do any more.

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