True happiness stems from thoughts and emotions not circumstances. This was so difficult for me to learn. I always thought that I needed more money or a better car or the right people to be around. True happiness always seemed allusive to me and I felt like a victim of my circumstances.
It was until I started practicing a positive attitude and maintaining a realistic hope for changes that I started feeling good feelings stirring around in my soul. And let me tell you, when it started to happen, oh what a sweet feeling. It was like a thick veil of darkness and confusion was being pierced with light and clarity. It was so much easier to be happy than I thought. I just had to concentrate on my inner self instead of external circumstances.
The funny thing is I started finding simple things in life enjoyable. Walking into work I started taking more notice of nature, especially the funny things birds do. I started laughing at more wholesome and simplistic humor instead of needing more and more harsh humor to laugh. True happiness I found had nothing to do with how much money I had or where I was at.
Believe me, I speak from experience when I say this. For example, I worked in Iraq for a period of time supporting U.S. Forces. It was extremely hot, days were long, and I worked every day. It felt like a prison, especially for my personality. All the days would just run together and I could never remember what I did last week. The good thing is time went by fast. So anyway I decided to put what I had learned about happiness to the test in those difficult circumstances.
How does this apply to porn addiction ? Life was not perfect and neither was I, but more days than not I held a cheerful disposition and enjoyed life. I learned even more the truth that happiness is determined by thoughts and emotions more than any earthly thing.
I know many people in this world struggle to be happy. I know that knowing one’s purpose in life is a big help. I have my own beliefs concerning this. How we interpret this life, who we are, and why we are here, has a big influence on how we handle the trials of this life. Do you fall apart when things get difficult or do you see it as an opportunity to grow? That’s a tough one because most people don’t want bad things to happen of course and get mad when bad things happen to good people. However, if you’ve ever talked to someone that went through a difficult life, including myself, if they would do it differently if they had to do it all over again, they would most of the time say no. Why is that? Well, growth is the answer. People are here to grow and they know they needed those lessons learned to be as strong as they have become.
A word on addictions and happiness. Addictions or bad habits can cause us to forget simple truths such as how to be happy. When we lose control of our lives we have lost control of our happiness for a time. As we master our cravings and begin to get things back under control we can start to feel happy again. These feelings are nothing short of amazing in a former addict since they are quite the contrast to prior feelings of captivity.