A friend of mine said something to me I will never forget. I was talking to him about my porn addiction and how difficult it was. He sympathized and then said, “One day you’re going to find this a very easy thing to overcome and you will look back and wonder why it was so difficult.” I thought it was absurd and he obviously didn’t understand what I was going through. I had already struggled for years and had calculated that I had tried and failed almost a thousand times, literally. So how in the world could he say something like that? Then, as with most things, I understood it later in time. At the time I could not see things like he could. He was looking from the outside in. I was turned completely inward and blind to everything else.
I guess I really didn’t understand this until I started to experience it. When I started to have success and gain control of my life I began to feel it really was easier than previously thought. By the way, I do not mean downplay my own struggle or the struggle of others by saying this. I am trying to say that addiction is partly a state of mind. The body is certainly hijacked by the addiction but so is the mind in the mental realm. You are addicted partly because you believe you are addicted and cannot escape. The truth is always that there is a way out and always will be. The danger of addiction is the person addicted finds it hard to believe this. Without a belief in a way out there is no escape from addiction.
Once you start to have success and gain confidence in yourself then you will start to feel it is easier. Be careful though and remember you have a weakness otherwise you will become complacent and relapse. The first successes are the hardest, then you start to get some momentum. Once you start to get the momentum you start to feel as if you’re completely free from addiction. However, you need to keep working hard until you have put a significant amount of sobriety under your belt, at least 6 to 12 months. The more success you have the easier it is to be successful. Also, if you slip up you’ll be able to remember your recent successes and recover more quickly than you did before. Of course maintain a positive attitude through all o this process as you are guaranteed not to be perfect at it.
You need to hear from yourself and others that this will get easier. There is the temptation to argue with these people and think, “They can’t possibly understand what I’m going through.” Perhaps this is true but they understand reality and truth better than you do since they are not blinded by addiction. The truth is freedom will be yours soon as you persevere through the struggle. Then you will confidently see it as an easy thing to do. Remember, when addicted, part of you doesn’t want to believe this and wants to argue it. Resist that urge and believe.
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