Part of the reason I never mentioned it in previous blog posts is because I didn’t want people to think that a pill would fix all their problems. I was guilty of this before and learned the hard way that there is no magic solution or pill. There are, however, certain medicines that can assist in putting you back in control of your life if your doctor or psychiatrist prescribes it to you.

The problem with pornography or masturbation addiction is that your sex drive has been running far beyond normal healthy levels. It gets to the point where you need constant and more intense stimulation to get excited. At this point it is very difficult to go back to normal life as it seems far too boring for your mind and body. It really is like a drug addiction.

The body naturally goes through cycles of increased and decreased sex drive by increasing and decreasing different hormones. This is natural and normal. However, this process can be hijacked and run at damaging and addictive levels if self control is not practiced.

There are few ways to decrease a sex drive once it is out of control like this. One way is to just stop the addictive behaviors and let your body naturally readjust itself. Many people have been able to do this with success depending on the level of addiction. However, many people have short lived success with this method even after many tries. What usually happens is the person will stop everything cold turkey and start trying to be happy with a normal healthy life but in the beginning of this process nothing in life seems to compare with the stimulation levels of their previous habits. So they find it difficult to endure the seemingly boring new life and run back to the previous excitement of the bad habits, temporary as it may be.

This describes the scenario I repeated many times in my life. I would have such a difficult time waiting for my sex drive to readjust back to normal. It was like fasting from food but more intense. I would get so hungry that I couldn’t stand it any more, when all I needed to do was endure the hunger pains and my appetite would have naturally adjusted.

Anyway, when I started to see a psychiatrist he prescribed me some anti-depressants for my depression. One of the side-effects, which turned out to be a benefit, was decreased sex drive. It didn’t completely go away but it gave me an opportunity to regain control and confidence.

Just so I make myself clear, this did not fix my problems, it only helped. Without applying the rest of the methods listed on this site I would have just gone right back to my bad habits after a false sense of success. This medication simply assisted in the process. In fact, my psychiatrist insisted that I receive ongoing therapy in conjunction with the medication until my life was back to normal.

This is not medical advice. I’m simply telling you about something that helped me. I know it’s not for everyone.

This combined with working on my spirituality (to fill the void I was previously trying to fill with bad things), a healthy diet and exercise, and thought control is was brought me true success.

Life adjusted back to normal and I found joy and excitement in things such as hobbies, education, friends, family, and many other things that got neglected. Life is wonderful when you’re back in control and more than exciting without misusing the body. Sexual relations with your spouse become special and wonderful again if you are married.

It does take time but it’s not as long as you may think and it is so worth it.

Sexual addiction is an often misunderstood term as most people assume it means someone who is addicted to having sex with others. While this is true it is not the complete definition. Sexual addiction is any kind of addiction pertaining to the sexual organs. Arguments against this seek to narrow a broad definition for reasons that do not help those seeking to understand sexual addiction in general.

I wrote a post some time ago called “Your Body has been Hijacked by Addiction” and the main purpose was to point out the powerful effects of misuse of sexual organs and bodily processes. I can call it misuse for several reasons but I will concentrate solely on the loss of personal control as evidence of unnatural habit.

Sex is powerful for a reason. It is not the reason most think. If you break it down into simple scientific and logical elements it is easy to see the sequence of necessary events in the body’s arousal process. We can of course CHOOSE to be “turned on” by anything. However, the natural born instincts tell us to be attracted to the opposite sex. The reason for this is two fold, recreate and bond.

Let’s concentrate on the bond part. If you misuse the body’s sexual processes you can bond to just about anything. You can bond to an imaginary world or porn, or you can bond to same sex, or you can bond to yourself through masturbation. None of this will ever feel consistently satisfying and you will always need constant stimulation. People in various stages of bonding, or rather addiction, may argue against this in defense.

You see, there is nothing more satisfying than doing what is right. Nothing makes you feel more content, secure, or satisfied. We all know what is right.

The point is that there is plenty of help out there but it may not be obvious at first. There are plenty of forums, therapist, or people struggling just like you who want to help. Don’t get frustrated and don’t feel alone. Help for your addiction is within easy reach.

I remember when I thought there was no one who understood me and no one who could help me with porn addiction. I was definitely surprised to find that someone did specialize in this field.

If you do not work out your emotions and thoughts then you will return to your vices. I will focus on thoughts for a moment here since everything stems from them, including emotions. I was reading an interesting article today written by Jonathan Leger titled “Think low and you will stay low”. This article highlighted the importance of overcoming mental barriers before you can overcome physical one. If you were to do this in the opposite order you would just return to what you have not worked out in your heart and mind and the cycle would repeat itself.

So you want to know how to stop porn addiction or any addiction. Start believing in yourself first because there is nothing that you cannot overcome if you believe and persevere. This is the first step and is very necessary. Stop all the negative self talk and start building yourself up with positive thoughts that cause you to believe in yourself no matter how many mistakes you have made.

Does this mean all is lost if you are addicted to porn on the internet? No, of course not, though it may feel that way. What it does mean is you have some tough choices to make. Do you get rid of the internet all together or perhaps get a decent filter/monitoring software. Perhaps you are in a job that requires you to use the internet on a daily basis. Is it time to go into another career field? These are decisions you need to study out and make yourself. What is saving and preserving your character worth to you? The reason for that question is simple; an internet porn addiction will quickly rob you of your great character traits

1. Are you distant in your relationships with other? Try to avoid interaction or affection?

2. Are you easily provoked, meaning you get offended or angry easily?

3. Do you or the person of concern seem opposite of the norm, almost like a totally different personality

4. Are you on the Internet far too long? This may sound extreme but there are few reasons to be on the Internet all day and night.

5. Do you find it difficult to be happy or content in any circumstance?

Some of these signs of porn addiction may sound like personality disorders, that’s because when a person is not in control of a major aspect of their life then they are not in control of their character or personality. Control of personality comes with self mastery.

Yes the world can be stressful and often the news makes it more stressful than it really is.  Yet many of us choose to use the news as a true reference to how how life really is. Why am I talking about this on a sexual addiction  site? Well, addicts in general are usually looking for escape from reality as they know it. How you reference reality is up to you. Life is not as bad as the people trying to make money make it seem. Actually life is great and full of opportunities to experience joy and happiness. Yes there are upsets but the positives far outweigh those upsets. Remember, the news doesn’t make money by focusing on the positive. They make money focusing on the shocking negative things that captivate us. How in the world does this apply to porn addiction?

Which would you rather watch, a high speed police chase ending in a crash or a mayor talking about improvements in elderly care. You see its effortless to be attracted to the most stimulating and exciting thing that catches our attention. It takes work to  appreciate the finer things in life. So will you let he idle part of you win or will you expend some effort and focus on the positive.

When it comes to dealing with the stresses of life in a healthy way you really must exercise you freedom to choose. Meaning you choose what to let into you life and what not to allow to effect you. When you realize this control you have and actually use it to only focus on and allow positive things in your life influence you it is quite empowering. This does not mean nothing negative will happen. It does mean you will notice a “positive” difference in your life. Believe or not you are in control. Sometime, like all of us, you choose not to maintain control but instead  let the  world control you. There comes a time when you have to wake up and come to the realization that you are, in fact, in control.

When you relearn this personal control you are in a position to properly deal with the stresses of life instead of turning to addictive activities. The proper way is to be in control of your thoughts and attitude and let the negative things roll off your back like water off a duck, so to speak. With a good attitude, which you decide to have, you don’t sweat the small stuff. However, don’t let anyone, especially the media, steal you good attitude, because they will do anything and say anything to make money without care for your  personal well being.

1. My number one recommendation would be to get an internet filter with an accountability feature. Out of all the programs out there I would recommend a program called Covenant Eyes. Don’t let the name confuse you, this is simple a robust internet filter with monitoring and reporting capability. The big deterrent is that you have an accountability partner who receives a weekly report showing all the web sites you have visited. This software also notifies your accountability partner when you uninstall the software. This can really curb a porn addiction.

2. If you have administrator rights on the computer then it might be a good idea to have a more restricted account. For example, my wife has the password to the administrator account and I have a restricted account. This just means I can’t add or remove programs such as the monitoring software.

3. If you don’t like having a restricted account then you could just share half of the password with someone for the administrator account so you’re only on the web when someone is around.

4. All this physical restrictions are great ideas but it would also be a good idea to just set some realistic personal boundaries you know you could live by. For example, deciding not to be on the internet after 9pm. This helps in a couple of ways. First, the more tired you are the more weaker you feel and the more likely you are to give into the temptation of porn. So you could decide to only spend so many hours on the web a day, or only be on the web when someone is around or when you’re in a public place like a book store. Any personal boundaries you think might help are great. They are personal and yours so don’t let what others say or think about them bother you.

5. Lastly, if you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work and you continue to look at porn then it may be time to make a big sacrifice for the sake of saving your character from eventual complete deterioration. You may have to get rid of the internet all together or restrict access to very  limited occasions. This is certainly not easy in today’s world and that would be a well thought out decision. Just remember, nothing is more important than self-mastery and it takes a lot of strength to make tough decisions like this.

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Indeed there does come a time for the porn addict to make some tough choices. A time to decide what is most important and take the necessary steps without delay. To some these choices may seem extreme but to you they will be honorable and necessary. It will seem as if you’re willing to do what most people are not.

What am I talking about? Well, if you are addicted to porn right now and you have unrestricted(unfiltered and unmonitored) access to the Internet right now then that needs to change. The software I would recommend is called Covenant Eyes. If restricting access still isn’t enough then you need to get rid of the Internet all together. If your work requires you to use the Internet for you and that has been a big weak point for you then it may be time to consider a new occupation. Trust me, I’m well aware of the difficulty of making such decisions. I myself have had to change careers and restrict access to the internet while suffering financially. I did have to wait until I was in a financial position to do so.

Although changing the external environment was never enough to free myself from porn addiction it was necessary. I was never going to rehabilitate so long as I had easy access to my drug of choice. What would happen is I would change my thoughts and control my passions for a period of time but not change my external environment. I would have success for a week or two but then the sexual urges would return in full force as they always do for the body was designed in such a manner. At that point I was still not strong enough to be in an environment with too much temptation. I could see that the missing ingredient was a safer external environment and then I would be able to have more success. So I restricted internet access at home and changed occupations.

I cannot stress enough that changing the external environment will never be enough only part of the equation. You must change internallyas well to have true success. So take a look at your life and be honest with yourself about what needs to change for you to have real success. It will probably take some sacrifices but your reward will be a very fulfilling life in which you are in control. While comtemplating what changes you may need to make in your life it would help to pray and ask God what He thinks. Perhaps He could cause thoughts to come to your mind that you did not previously consider.

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I speak from experience on this one. Some days will seem easy. You’ll be able to easily resist temptation in a relaxed manner. These are the days you’ve desired to have for a long time, so when they come you feel relieved and happy. But you must remember that this will only be true on some days. Most days, all your life, will require work. They will require you to exert your physical and mental energies to stay clean. We must not be lured into thinking that we no longer have to work as hard as we did before. As long as you are on this earth there will be temptations.

I do no say these things to discourage but to prepare. You will get stronger with time and it will be easier to resist temptation. All I’m trying to say here is that there will rarely be a day that will not require you to work at staying clean. It takes constant and every day effort to maintain a clean happy life. Happiness will always require more work than the misery associated with bad choices.

So every day you have to wake up and decide you are willing to exert your personal powers to make the right choices all day. This will become a great habit and prepare you for the really difficult days ahead. I say this because some days will seem like “The Perfect Storm” in which every thing seems combined against you. For example, you wake up with little sleep, you’re irritated at work, your boss won’t leave you alone, the bills are stacking up, you get into an accident on the way home, you argue with your wife,you’re having a hard time controlling your thoughts, and finally you see an inappropriately dressed girl on TV. Well, in those circumstances it just seems like you can’t take it anymore and you are so tempted to give into temptation and go on a pornography binge. Believe it or not, even in these circumstances, it is still your choice to do the work to resist temptation and maintain a positive attitude.

How much you are willing to work is directly tied to how much you believe in the process of change, in a better life, and your personal powers to change. If you stop working and give into temptation or fall short of your goal it is simply because you did not have enough faith and motivation. How do you get that faith and motivation? You choose to have it. Nobody can give it to you or make you have it. There are people and sources that can help you to have it but it is ultimately your choice to have enough faith and motivation to keep working no matter what the circumstances are.

Masturbation and pornography can make you feel powerless. It is true to these things bind you and restrict your freedom to choose. However,though it may feel like it, these things do not have complete control over you. You still have enough power to fight back and reclaim the lost ground in the internal battle you’ve been engaged in. It will not be instant but gradual and eventual. In fact, with perseverance success is inevitable. However, this requires work. Sometimes it will require you to exert all the energies of your soul to resist temptation, but you are not alone. Heavenly Father promises to bless you with the extra strength you need, after you have done all you can do. You will know when you’ve done all you can do because that is the time when his power kicks in and you will be victorious. He loves you enough to not do all the work for you but help you when you’ve done all you can do. Even if you are not religious, just do all you can do and you will be rewarded with success. You will feel an extra boost of power from a source beyond yourself.

Just keep working!

Ask yourself these questions with “10″ representing the most:

1. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do I really want to overcome porn addiction or any kind of addiction?

2. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do I believe in my power to overcome addiction?

3. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much am I willing to work every single day to overcome addiction?

Answer these questions honestly. If you are lacking in one or more of these areas then work to improve the numbers and you will have more success.

Success will not come by accident or luck. It will come because you worked for it and earned it.

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