Comments for Porn & Masturbation Addiction Help

Comment on The Good and the Bad About Sexual Addict 12 Step Programs by derrick (not a real name)

derrick (not a real name) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:32:12 +0000

— A man told his grandson: “A terrible fight is going on inside me – a fight between two wolves. One is evil, and represents hate, anger, lust, arrogance, intolerance, and superiority . The other is good, and represents joy, peace, love, tolerance, understanding, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, and compassion. This same fight is going on inside you, inside every other person too.” The grandson then asked quietly: “Which wolf will win?” The old man whispered: “…The one you FEED.”—

I found this on twitter, from a youth pastor who is also a really great Christian musician. It makes me realize that cutting down addiction, specially on my stage, is so hard that it’s almost impossible. I’m starting to think about feeding the good wolf, instead of focusing ONLY by killing the bad wolf. I’m starting to fast today. Slowly trying to feed the good wolf with fast, pray, going to church, and hoping God will see my effort and appreciate it, and eventually free me from the addiction.

@mikej: This is my first time too to actually find advice on the internet about this issue. Good luck to you.

Comment on How Long Does it Take to Overcome Addiction? by Josh

Josh — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:10:00 +0000

I have definitely struggled with a strong porn addiction and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t stop. I did some research and found that it went deeper. It has to do with the way it causes your brain to act, and the chemicals it releases. These chemicals were meant to strengthen a husband and wifes relationship through sex, but they can lead to strong porn addictions. Knowing this has made it a lot easier to stay clean. I know it will take a while but the key is to take it day by day because the task can be overwhelming.

Comment on How to Stop Masturbation Addiction by Parker

Parker — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 10:18:13 +0000

Hi,
I’ve had a masterbation addiction for five years now, and the longest sobriety period I’ve ever had was 4 months.
For all these years it has been a secret, and I continued to live a wicked life. Then three years ago I learned that it was a sin, and ever since then I have tried to stop by myself. Today is the first day that I actually looked on a website to help me with this problem. I’m only 15 years old and my life is a slave to an addiction, but with the help of the Lord, I can beat this. Thank you to the writer, because you have helped me, Truly. Im going to start TODAY! I FEEL SO FREE, I JUST TO WANT SHOUT! IM FINALLY GOING TO SAVED!!!

Comment on Porn Addiction Help by Necia astudillo

Necia astudillo — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 05:37:09 +0000

I feel everyones pain in here. I have been married to my husband for three years now and I knew nothing about his masterbation and porn addiction till the day after we were married because I caught him in the act, yes that’s right in the act. I felt like my heart was about to come out my throat. I just couldn’t believe it at all. I felt like I was not enough for him then eventually my self-esteem went down and still to this day I’m am struggling to pick myself up. well the first time I caught him he did not tell me he had a problem until I caught him several times he finally admitted to me he has had this problem since he was 7 yrs old he is now 28. I was so hurt because I could not turn back and get divorced. I was stuck with him because I have no family to run to. So I’m here now trying to get help for him before it really tears our marriage apart If anyone can please tell me where I can get help in Bakersfield California it would be of help

Comment on Pornography is a Depressant by Meriam

Meriam — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 05:39:30 +0000

Hi
Today would be the first time in my life that i would actually admit to myself that i have a problem with masturbation and porn. this has been going on for years in my life and it had made a home for its self in my life some where and comes out when it wants to. It is really a depressant. I have struggled with this for a very long time. I need help. I am a christian, but each time i want to live that holy life, i slip and fall. i have been dying to tell my friends and family members but i am too ashamed to even say a word about it. it makes me sick. I sometimes hate my self for doing such an evil dirty foolish thing as this…I know to call the name of Jesus but i can’t seem to do so when i start. i am sick of this kind of life. I am single, hoping to be married one day and have kids, i am afraid that it would hinder me fro have a happy life. i need to stop this. i need help..ideas?

Comment on How to Stop Porn Addiction by Thorn in my Side

Thorn in my Side — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:14:25 +0000

(It’s long but please read…I hope it helps you as it has helped me)
This has been my thorn in the side. Paul of the New Testament had a thorn in his side, whatever it was, and God was aware of it. Each of us have a thorn and weaknesses. Pornography and Masturbation have been my Achilles tendon. I naturally started masturbation at age 12, and realizing the negative effects it had on me, I began the struggle to quit. I at one time quit for over 2 years then relapsed after a relationship gone bad spiraled me into it’s grasp once again.

Moments of IDLENESS is when it gets me. And when the temptation crosses my mind, my sense of reason goes haywire and I become careless. Carelessness numbs the feeling in me and even though I list why I shouldn’t relapse, I still fall victim to it. If I don’t immediately surrender my will, it lingers and lingers, and pokes at me until I’d rather get it over with then have it fester in me. But to get it over with is a cover up and is not short lived, rather, it grows and latches on you.
Justification and rationalizing always get me into trouble. My justification is that I’d rather avoid weird and often times gross wet dreams at night and do it in a more sensible way. That thinking is hot wired in me and tends to trigger my inclination to relapse.
I have realized and know the pattern of my downfall. I know what triggers it and at what times I’m most vulnerable. I know how it affects me and how it has left some desolate. Then why can’t I stop? you may ask. I think the bottom line is we are given agency, the freedom to choose and despite how petty or powerful the temptation is at the very moment it’s staring you in the face, nothing will save you but your own will. God leaves it up to us. In the moment temptation cornering me, it’s as though I see and hear God at the surface as I’m underwater being pulled under by a demon. He wants to save you but knows it can only be left up to you. He can’t interfere. Though it may seem impossible to break free from it’s grip and pull, every temptation is escapable. You just have to fight it as though your life depended on it. And in a true sense, your spiritual life depends on it.
I am endeavoring to fight off the demon in that very moment it’s latch on to me, and will desperately try to hear the muffled faint voice of God and prove to him myself, the strength I have to stripped the hands of the demon off of me and overcome the urge to relapse. It’s then that we surface and hear very clearly the voice of God and feel of his love.
God knew many of his children would struggle with this and therefore made for us an escape out of it…our freedom to CHOOSE. Choose the path less travelled by and your reward shall be great and eternal.
God bless you all in this great struggle and in the very moment temptation latches on to us, may we have the will power to fight it off and be at peace.
Thank you for reading.

Comment on Setting Boundaries to Avoid Addiction Relapse by Kay

Kay — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:08:07 +0000

My husband is 63 and he sais he had been in porn all his life.
We have been together for 12 years I knew something was wrong when we got married.
I love him so,he was the only man that I could say thati had falling in love with.
I keep thinking things would change but is hasn’t.
he went for three treaments and then stop them.
He would masterbate with me in bed ,11 weeks ago I caught him in our bed masterbating .
i had said to him that this had to stop that i could not take it anymore and that he needed to deside what he wanted me or the pron…he would not even stand up and fight for us he just cleaned out his closet and left.he cut me out of his life when it came to sex three years ago..
I have not heard from him.I could not go to his dark world and he could not come to the light of my world.
should i mark this one as a lost cause.
i miss and love him but i have to say that while he was here i had bad panic attacts and now that he is gone so are they.
pray for his healing of the sickness from this mess, and also pray for healing in my life that i can let all the hurt, miss trust,anger and hate that I have for him.
God is not pleased with me either.
I lost him to other women in his mind.
O! and can he have this porn so strong in his mind that he can only think of it and don’t have to touch it to get his sexual relief. I seen that happen so is that normal. He does not have my password to get on the computer. He has told me it was like a movie that would start in his mind and that he could not control it……………..Thanks to all who reads this and say’s a prayer for us.

Comment on Using a Counterintuitive Approach to Overcome Porn Addiction by fooobidoobydo

fooobidoobydo — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 23:45:33 +0000

this is good advice, not too different from the approaches i have used. THe change truly does come within. And not obsessing about it is a big thing. That type of thinking is bad. The biggest thing that helped me is just NOT “touching myself” and making myself aroused, touching “it” does not help the lust go away. Once I realized that, then my temptations have been much less.

Comment on Masturbation Addiction Explained by Dustin

Dustin — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 23:02:39 +0000

I am so glad that I came upon this website. I am 24 years old and i have been masturbating since i was 13, like every single day. I have had terrible luck with the ladies, and i have always kind of thought it was because of masturbating. After reading this article and all these comments, i now realize that is exactly the problem. i just masturbated and started feeling like shit immediatly,(just like everytime.) so i looked up masturbation addiction, and here we are. I need to quit today. It is ruining my life. I would hate to be married someday and have some dirty little secret that i always have to sneak and hide from my wife.

Comment on Addiction Codependency Through Two Marriages by t

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:35:33 +0000

I found out three weeks ago that my husband looks at porn regularly. He had been doing it for about two years, I think. I confronted him the day after I found out and he never denied it. I was more shocked that he had tried to contact some girls than him actually looking at it. He told me it’s like an addiction and he felt extremely bad about it. He later assured me that it was never that he stopped liking me. We had not have a proper sexual relationship for those entire two years. I had been pregnant and given birth to twins. Now I am trying to get over it and get back to trusting him. The thing that helped me a lot was reading Steve Harvey’s book “Act like a woman, think like a man”. It was an amazing coincidence that I stumbled over it in the library the day after I confronted my husband. It helped me realize that my husband loves me and always has. There is no reason to doubt that.
I am still trying to heal and only now, after doing some more research, realize that this problem may take longer to deal with than I thought. I don’t know how badly addicted he is. I hope I will be able to trust him and myself again.
Ladies, check out candeocan.com’s podcasts for women. Also, I found it very helpful to read somewhere that my selfworth should never ever depend on whether my husband finds me attractive or not. I do not have to compete. Trust yourself. Anything he says about your looks is plain avoidance of the real issue. Don’t even go there!