Kevin thought he was addicted to pornography. “I must be. I’ve tried so hard to stop. I’ve worked for the last five years at it, and yet I still can’t kick the habit completely.” When I talked to him about his approach, it sounded like he was doing almost everything right. He had opened up to his family about the problem and would talk to them about lapses. He had sought the help of his bishop and met with him regularly. He was participating in the Church’s addiction recovery program and regularly attended their 12-step group meetings. He maintained a habit of regular prayer and scripture study.
It sounded to me like Kevin was doing everything right except for one thing: he was still in the habit of locking horns with the devil. Terry Warner said, “Satan does not need to overpower us in order to win the war. He only needs to get us to adopt his way of fighting it.” On a typical day, Kevin might be going through his routine, doing well and feeling good. However, if temptation hit, he’d start to brace himself, focus real hard on doing well, and redouble his efforts to avoid a problem. Sometimes his approach “worked” and he avoided giving in that day. Too often, despite all the effort and energy he exerted, he failed. Sure, he may fight for a while. But later that day or sometime the next day—occasionally his fight lasted several days—Kevin almost always eventually gave in once an intense battle got going.
I shared with Kevin my opinion: that it was not the initial trigger, not the temptation itself, but his way of dealing with it, that was the beginning of his downfall. So what, exactly, is the problem with fighting temptation with all our might, as we may feel compelled to do when a strong urge or craving hits? To answer that question, let’s consider our reaction on four dimensions:

• Attitude: When we fight temptation, we do so with a sense of urgency. This certainly makes sense: it’s a threat to our spirituality, our sense of confidence and well-being, and perhaps even our success in life. The problem couldn’t be much more important than it is.
• Body: When we brace against temptation, our bodies react by tensing up. We become physiologically aroused in order to deal with the threat. We’re on alert and ready to “fight or flee.”
• Mind: Our consciousness narrows and we become very focused—sometimes even fixated. Mentally we know what the problem is and know that it’s a challenge we haven’t yet figured out how to overcome. Our mind is primed and ready to devote significant mental voltage to the threat.
• Behavior: We feel driven to take action against temptation. We feel like we “can’t” give in and “have to” resist urges. We vacillate between that and feeling like we “have to” give in and “can’t” resist anymore.

In the 121st section of The Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord describes two different approaches to the exercise of power and influence. The Lord labels the first “unrighteous dominion.” It is characterized by the attempt to exert control by way of dominion or compulsion (v. 37). In our efforts to get what we want from other people, every one of us has at least experimented with this approach. I can tell you from experience, we never become more influential by being coercive. Of course, it may work great for getting our way in the moment, but people end up resenting our pushiness. Any influence we have evaporates once we walk out of the room.
Whenever I get pushy—whether it’s with my kids, with another driver on the road, or with a customer service representative on the telephone—I end up feeling less powerful. Not only that, I end up being less powerful. People simply do not respond well to coercion. Instead of cooperating, quite often they rebel. The driver I tailgate slows down. If I tell my three-year-old, “You can’t watch TV any more, you have to go to bed,” I’ll be peeling little fingers off stair railings and door frames all the way up to his bedroom.
As human beings, everything inside of us yearns to remain free and stay in charge of our own lives. David O. McKay has said that “next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man” (Gospel Ideals, 1993, p. 299). Even if the driver in front of me doesn’t believe in God, even though my three-year-old doesn’t understand the Plan of Salvation, they, like all of us, instinctively value their agency and will fight fiercely to retain it. Every one of us is determined to maintain independence, especially if we sense that someone is trying to force us to do something.
If a coercive approach fails miserably when it comes to influencing other people, perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that things don’t go well when we adopt it in an attempt to change our own behavior. If our Father in Heaven wouldn’t allow Satan to tell us we can’t sin and have to obey, do we really believe that he might bless our efforts when we adopt to the same mentality or methods on ourselves?
Fortunately, there is a second form of influence described in D&C 121. It’s quite unlike unrighteous dominion both in terms of the way it operates and the effect it has. It is characterized by persuasion, long suffering, gentleness, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, pure knowledge (which is described as “greatly enlarging the soul”), and a lack of hypocrisy or guile (vv. 41-42).
I’m reminded of this gentle, easygoing approach when I talk with those who have established a solid, long-term recovery from a formerly compulsive behavior. When I talk with people who are two years, five years, or twelve years beyond their last relapse, not one has ever said, “I still fight the same battle every day, it’s just that now I always win.” Instead they say, “It’s hardly a struggle at all anymore.”
Consider the way they approach the problem across the four dimensions we introduced earlier:

• Attitude: These folks exhibit an easygoing mentality and are not easily perturbed by temptation. The problem remains an important one to them, but less urgent: they know that it’s not one they can annihilate “once and for all” with sudden efforts of Herculean proportions.
• Body: Physiologically they stay calm and relaxed. They stay in a mode they can maintain over the long haul, not one in which their efforts will of necessity diminish over time as a result of depletion and burn-out.
• Mind: They remain perceptive and observant. They’re big-picture-oriented. They’re not as vigilant against temptation itself, but remain on-the-lookout for its precursors. By remaining observant over time they have learned what puts them at risk and they keep trying to respond to those concerns in a proactive way. They reach out when they’re struggling or in-need so that their emotions don’t build to the point that they fuel self-defeating urges.
• Behavior: They don’t “have to” do anything—they remain free. They keep choosing their response, rather than giving in or fighting based on which compulsion is strongest at the time. If one response doesn’t take them in the direction they want, they’re free to change course. They keep experimenting until they find what works.

If you’ve been in the habit of fighting temptation and forcefully trying to keep yourself on track, how can you switch over to this other, more relaxed and effective approach?

Change Your Attitude: Next time temptation hits, adopt a more easygoing mentality. Don’t think, “Oh no, here we go again! I’m never going to be free of this!” Instead, Remember what the apostle Paul said: “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man” (1 Corinthians 10:13). In fact, instead of “Oh no!” think to yourself, “Oh, good! Now I have the chance to practice a different way of approaching this problem.” The more chances you get to practice, the better you’ll get at doing things differently. Plus, something else happens when you think, “Oh, good!” The devil is, by nature, contrary and oppositional. Once you, like a Judo master, start to use the force behind his blows against him, he will probably pick fewer fights with you.
Relax Your Body: Take a few nice, full breaths. This helps relax the body and ease it down from a hyperaroused state. Instead of bracing yourself against temptation, loosen up. Oxygenate your brain and body so that you can approach the problem with all of your usual resourcefulness and intelligence still intact.
Open Your Mind: Broaden your attention. Don’t fixate and obsess. Encourage your mind to maintain objectivity by turning your attention to something concrete like a sight, sound, or touch. I encourage clients to alternate this kind of noticing with the breathing just mentioned. “Breathing and noticing” three or four times in a row can help the mind free itself. For instance: Take a nice, full breath and notice: “There’s a poplar tree way down the street.” Focus intently on it for a moment. Then breathe again and notice: “There’s the sound of a car engine.” Hold that focus…. Breathe and notice: “There’s the hard sidewalk beneath my feet.” Feel it. Feel it. Feel it with each step. As simple as this technique sounds, it can help us stay rooted in reality here-and-now, where we can see more of our options.
Choose Your Behavior: With more of our options in view, we’re prepared to take action, and to do so in different ways than we have been in the habit of doing. Whenever we refuse to do what it feels like we “have to” and choose our response instead, we exercise our freedom in a powerful way. Even if the behavior we choose this time doesn’t end up taking us where we want to go, at least it was different than the well beaten trails we’re in the habit of treading. We can always choose a second new path next time, and a third after that, until we find one that does work better than our usual.

Kevin knew that “trying harder” had never worked for him over the long haul, so he was excited to try something different. He went home from our first session with a resolution unlike the dozens of others he had made in the past. He was ready to practice a new way. Here’s what he reported when he came back the following week:
“I was determined to think, ‘Oh, good!’ when I was tempted and then to practice breathing, noticing, and experimenting. However, I really didn’t think I’d be able to do it every time I was tempted. After all, it had seemed to me that some days were filled to overflowing with sexual triggers and urges and cravings. It seemed to me that if I really tried to do it every time temptation hit, some days would be consumed by this new little ordeal.
“However, once I was on the lookout for temptation in a good way, prepared to practice my new skills, I was surprised that the topic of sex seemed to rear its head less and less. Even when it did, sometimes I’d check in with myself to see if I was tempted only to discover that I wasn’t. Now that I was prepared to cope with it and eager to take it in a better direction, those triggers seemed less threatening. The emotional charge of many of my everyday triggers seemed to be neutralized.
“But then, Thursday night, I came face-to-face with a real test. I had played basketball until late, and once I finally got home everything was dark and quiet. As I started down the stairs, I got panicky: ‘I’m headed down to shower. It’s late at night. Oh, no! This has often been a problem for me in the past! I’m headed right into the lion’s den. I could so easily have a problem while I’m showering. All of the progress I’ve made would be washed away. Three weeks of success would be down the drain. Then the countdown for turning in my mission papers would have to start over again. This could be disastrous. It’s so important! I need to focus real hard on staying clean and redouble my efforts right now!’
“Then I caught myself. ‘Hold on a minute. That’s my reflex, but I can do it differently. I don’t have to lock horns with the devil. In fact, I can look at this as a good thing—an opportunity. Yes, I’ll go back to my fire drill: “Oh, good—another great chance. Let me breathe… and notice the texture on the sloped ceiling in front of me as I walk down the stairs. Breathe… and notice the feeling of the banister in my hand all the way down. Breathe… and notice the musty smell of the basement. Experiment… Experiment… What could I do differently?’ I was pondering that as I grabbed onto the doorknob of the bathroom door. That was when it hit me: I always lock the bathroom door when I shower, but I don’t ‘have to.’ I am free to leave the door unlocked. It was late at night. Most of my family was asleep. There was very little chance that any of them would even come downstairs, and almost no chance that they would walk in on me when I was showering. Still, if I left the door unlocked, it seemed to me at that moment that there was no way I was going to masturbate in the shower.”
At that point, I didn’t need to hear anymore. I didn’t cut him off—we continued that session and continued for several more after that as well. Nonetheless, there was something defining about that moment. I hadn’t even heard whether Kevin’s experiment (leaving the bathroom door unlocked) had worked (it turns out that it did). It’s just that I’d seen enough clients like Kevin to know how this was going to go. Even if that experiment had failed, Kevin was succeeding. He had not yet succeeded in completely overcoming his sexual struggles, but he was successfully changing the way he approached them. He was adopting a new, easygoing attitude. He was learning to relax instead of bracing against temptation. He’d been able to see, even in the heat of the moment, that he had options besides the two he’d always fixated on before: fighting and succumbing to temptation. He’d taken one of those options and acted on it. I knew that as time went on and he continued to exercise his freedom along all four dimensions, Kevin would overcome his problem. He’d keep relaxing and exploring and experimenting in a more easygoing way until he kicked his destructive habit once and for all.

I learned this technique from a friend who was struggling with the same thing. He said this, “What works best is just not thinking of porn. Not only that but also not thinking about ‘not thinking about it’. I know this sounds too simple but trust me it works 100% of the time.”

I was skeptical. He was right, it did sound too simple and I tried everything and thought I had already tried this idea as well. The problem was I never really applied this method effectively. I was so obsessed with conquering my addictions that that was all I ever thought about. If you’re religious I should mention that the Devil loves this tool. It seems like it’s not from him since it appears like a great thing to be thinking about stopping an addiction. However, stopping an addiction starts in the mind. Whatever controls your attention controls your life.

The key to proper implementation of this method is to remember that even thinking about not thinking about something is still in effect thinking about it. Ironic huh. Anyway, the goal is to think about something completely different whenever a momentary thought of the undesirable things enter your mind. This is not easy unless you have prepared beforehand with something at least almost as interesting as the addictive thoughts. You need something that will quickly take your mental attention off the sexually stimulating things and keep it off long enough for the wave of temptation to pass.

I will give you an example. I’m sort of an entrepreneur and love to think of new business ideas. That doesn’t mean I implement any of them. I just love to think about them and also talk to people about them. This is one of the only things that excite me as much if not more sometimes than thinking about lustful things. So in the event that I’m driving along and see a beautiful girl I will immediately shift my thoughts to some of my business ideas and keep it there. I’ll be honest; if I tried to apply this method by thinking about NASCAR then it wouldn’t work because that just doesn’t excite me.

Whatever excites you in life, other than your vices, will become very helpful tools in you escape from addiction. Think of your hobbies or passions. Sometimes you may have to discover a new hobby or passion. I did this. I started experimenting with new hobbies and just trying things out to see what I liked. You’ll be surprised at the things you didn’t realize you would like.

Something to remember is you have more mental power then you probably believe you have right now. One of the goals of addiction, or the devil, is to cause you to believe you no longer have this power. The doubt and depression certainly don’t contribute to self confidence. However, you can climb out of this mental dark abyss and feel free again. It will just take more mental muscle than if you were already practicing self mastery. It’s not as hard as it seems or “someone” would have you believe though.

Lastly, one more thing you should know, a thought entering your mind does not mean you have already given into a thought and you’ve done bad. That’s not true at all. Everybody, and I mean everybody, has bad thoughts enter their mind on a daily basis. What’s important is how you handle those thoughts, which is the purpose of this article. If you choose to dwell on that thought then yes that is bad but if you choose to control your mind and switch to another thought quickly then you have done well. Never get down on yourself though if you don’t apply this method well at first. It takes practice, somethimes a lot of practice which means a lot of learning from mistakes.

I speak from experience on this one. Some days will seem easy. You’ll be able to easily resist temptation in a relaxed manner. These are the days you’ve desired to have for a long time, so when they come you feel relieved and happy. But you must remember that this will only be true on some days. Most days, all your life, will require work. They will require you to exert your physical and mental energies to stay clean. We must not be lured into thinking that we no longer have to work as hard as we did before. As long as you are on this earth there will be temptations.

I do no say these things to discourage but to prepare. You will get stronger with time and it will be easier to resist temptation. All I’m trying to say here is that there will rarely be a day that will not require you to work at staying clean. It takes constant and every day effort to maintain a clean happy life. Happiness will always require more work than the misery associated with bad choices.

So every day you have to wake up and decide you are willing to exert your personal powers to make the right choices all day. This will become a great habit and prepare you for the really difficult days ahead. I say this because some days will seem like “The Perfect Storm” in which every thing seems combined against you. For example, you wake up with little sleep, you’re irritated at work, your boss won’t leave you alone, the bills are stacking up, you get into an accident on the way home, you argue with your wife,you’re having a hard time controlling your thoughts, and finally you see an inappropriately dressed girl on TV. Well, in those circumstances it just seems like you can’t take it anymore and you are so tempted to give into temptation and go on a pornography binge. Believe it or not, even in these circumstances, it is still your choice to do the work to resist temptation and maintain a positive attitude.

How much you are willing to work is directly tied to how much you believe in the process of change, in a better life, and your personal powers to change. If you stop working and give into temptation or fall short of your goal it is simply because you did not have enough faith and motivation. How do you get that faith and motivation? You choose to have it. Nobody can give it to you or make you have it. There are people and sources that can help you to have it but it is ultimately your choice to have enough faith and motivation to keep working no matter what the circumstances are.

Masturbation and pornography can make you feel powerless. It is true to these things bind you and restrict your freedom to choose. However,though it may feel like it, these things do not have complete control over you. You still have enough power to fight back and reclaim the lost ground in the internal battle you’ve been engaged in. It will not be instant but gradual and eventual. In fact, with perseverance success is inevitable. However, this requires work. Sometimes it will require you to exert all the energies of your soul to resist temptation, but you are not alone. Heavenly Father promises to bless you with the extra strength you need, after you have done all you can do. You will know when you’ve done all you can do because that is the time when his power kicks in and you will be victorious. He loves you enough to not do all the work for you but help you when you’ve done all you can do. Even if you are not religious, just do all you can do and you will be rewarded with success. You will feel an extra boost of power from a source beyond yourself.

Just keep working!

Ask yourself these questions with “10″ representing the most:

1. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do I really want to overcome porn addiction or any kind of addiction?

2. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do I believe in my power to overcome addiction?

3. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much am I willing to work every single day to overcome addiction?

Answer these questions honestly. If you are lacking in one or more of these areas then work to improve the numbers and you will have more success.

Success will not come by accident or luck. It will come because you worked for it and earned it.

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The answers I sought and you currently seek are different for everyone. They depend on your ability to persevere through difficulties and mistakes, your faith in yourself, your faith in the process, and how much work you’re willing to put into the process. So, that being said, it could be a matter of weeks, months, or years. It all depends on you. It’s definitely not a matter of just a week or two. That’s unrealistic. Though I must admit I was guilty of expecting change in a week or two, to my detriment.

Making Mistakes

In order to keep going in the process of change you will have to accept that you will not be perfect. It is very dangerous to expect you will make no mistakes. I’m not saying use this as an excuse to make mistakes. I’m saying have realistic expectations. One realistic expectation is to expect that the mistakes will become fewer in proportion to the amount of effort you put into the process of change. If you have a problem with porn addiction and you look at it every day then you can expect that it will not be every day as you make the necessary choices to adjust your environment and follow the steps to become stronger.

Remember, the body is too stubborn to change in just a week. You cannot expect to stop liking or desiring porn in a week or two. You have to have consistent success over a long period of time for your desires to change significantly. Also, you can’t expect to like new habits at the start. If you just started exercising then it will probably take some time before you enjoy doing it. I felt this way about running. I hated it but over time learned to love it. So you see it takes a lot of work initially to change since you and your body will not like the changes at first. I will tell you that change will become a lot easier after being completely clean for about a month. After that, it gets easier and easier.

Believe in the Process

It can be a tough thing to convince yourself to keep going when you’re not seeing results. I know I would get so frustrated after only a week or two of staying clean because I would still feel really strong urges to go look at pornography or to misuse my body. I would angry at how I didn’t see my desires change much in that short time. I would get so frustrated when I would see a beautiful woman and my body would get so aroused. Instead of being patient and allowing more time for my body to balance itself out, I would obsess about the lack of change until those thoughts had control of me and I would make a mistakes again.

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

So believing in the process is a must. Going for a week or two and getting frustrated until you quit is not defined as believing. Believing means you keep going every single day knowing that you will change in due time. It may be one month, two months, a year. Whatever it is you just continue to believe change is coming because it is. Most people give up not knowing how close they were to complete change.

Believing in Yourself

We have all had doubts in ourselves at times on our lives. Thats ok as long as you know how to move on from those doubts. Its when doubts become a habit that failure becomes a habit. We not only have to believe that the process of change works so long as we put in the effort and time, but we must also believe that we can absolutely do whatever is required in the process of change. You have to have faith in yourself otherwise you’re right, you can’t escape addiction and can’t do anything for that matter. Addiction can cause us to stop believing we can do things. Its like being a prisoner of war, eventually you start to believe you cannot escape and stop trying to escape. That’s when the enemy called addiction has you right where it wants you, feeling helpless. You have to stand up and believe in yourself. Believe you have the power to make decisions that will ultimately bring freedom in your life.

There is no one who can make you have faith in yourself or the process of change. That is a decision you must make. People can encourage you but they cannot give it to you. On a religious note I will say that developing faith in God helped me to develop faith in myself. I still had to make the decision but my religion certainly made that easier.

Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS)

Anybody who gets addicted to anything has to go through a withdrawal stage. There is no way around it, you have to go through it. It can last anywhere from a month to 18 months depending on many things. This is called Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms or PAWS. In other words, you will fell lethargic, bored with life, irritable, unable to concentrate or remember things. However, the amount of time these things last and the intensity can be lessened with proper diet, exercise, therapy to deal with underlying issues, and even supplements to help your chemical imbalance get back in balance.

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1. “Book of Mormon” – Without exception, this book gave me more hope and strength and understanding than any other book. You certainly don’t have to be Mormon to read the Book of Mormon.

2. ” The Drug of the New Millennium–The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use” – The Science of How Internet Pornography Radically Alters the Human Brain and Body. Author: Mark B. Kastleman. Best book I’ve read explaining every detail of how pornography addiction is created in a person.

3. “Wanting More: Challenge of Enjoyment in the Age of Addiction” – Written by Mark Chamberlain, this book really helped me understand the dangers of desensitization and how pornography is effecting our society as a whole.

4. “The Power of Positive Thinking” – By Norman Vincent Peale. It showed me there really was power in positive thinking. I gained a great faith and understanding of my personal powers through the principles in this book.

5. “Unlimited Power” – By Anthony Robbins. The main thing I took away from this book was specific techniques used to change my thoughts and emotions. If this is a skill you are lacking then this may be the book for you.

6. “Lessons in Mastery” – Also by Anthony Robbins. This concentrated more on controlling emotions and attitude but it was similar to the principles taught in “Unlimited Power”. I would recommend this one on CD

7. “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living Your Dreams, 10th Anniversary Special Edition” – This book is full of goal setting tips and inspiring stories that will motivate you to realize any goal in life.

8. Toolstolife.com – Developed by Devlyn Steele. This is not a book but it contains enough content to be a book. This is a day by day program to set goals and overcome bad habits. I would highly recommend it to anyone with any bad habit.

9. “He Did Deliver Me From Bondage” – By Colleen Harrison. This is a book modeled after the original 12 step program but with Book of Mormon principles.

10. “Conquering Your Own Goliaths” – By Steven A. Cramer. Teaches how to conquer the goliath of addiction just as David conquered Goliath in Biblical times. Great Book!!

porn addiction

Faith in Yourself

Faith in yourself is something that no one can give you. They can encourage you but you still have to make the decision to believe that you can do what you need to do otherwise you will have no progression. That being said, I can say that nothing helped me more to have faith in myself than having faith in God. Developing a realistic faith in God helped me develop a realistic faith in the powers that he has given me. Addiction wanted me to feel powerless while God wanted me to feel empowered. This is how I fought the darkness of addiction and won.

Starting Again

Every day I was able to get wake up and have hope again, after previously having a bad day, because I had faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I believed and still believe that He suffered for all my mistakes. I believed that nothing I was suffering was more than he suffered. I believed that as long as I was sorry and asked for forgiveness then I was forgiven. With this belief and hope I really did feel like every day could be a new and fresh start. Any spiritual debt or weight I was carrying was taken away by Christ. With this belief it was easier to pick myself up and say, “Let’s try again.” I was able to more quickly forgive myself with this belief too. Perseverence was possible because of my faith in God and the Atonement.

Feeling Love

It is so important for someone overcoming an addiction to feel loved. The inherent belief of the addict is “no one would love me if they knew the real me.” Of course that’s not true. Heavenly Father loves me no matter what mistakes I have have made. Of course he wanted me to stop making those mistakes but He still loved me the same and waited patiently for me to return to him. I believed that, though He is a just God, He is also very merciful and loves me so much that He sent His Son to suffer for my mistakes so I could return to be with Him again.

Healing of Pains from the Past

I had stored up pains from my childhood, my own mistakes, and broken relationships. The pains caused me to seek a a temporary escape through sexual acts. I needed to be changed from the inside out. So I turned to Jesus Christ, who I beleived could heal me of all my pains since he had already suffered for them. I simply asked him to heal me and then had faith that this was happening. Over time the pains were taken away and I had less inclination to turn to addiction Therapy helps uncover the past for those who have difficulty pin-pointing the cause of their current problems. Healing is still needed after this.

New Ideas and Knowledge

There were several times during my addiction that I needed a better plan or needed to understand something about my feelings and actions. I really had nowhere to go for these answers because no one had them. So I prayed and pondered my questions a lot. I expected answers and I got them in many different ways. My prayers were always answered and I always thanked God for giving them to me.

We all know knowledge is power when applied. Addiction is partly caused by being blind to the truth of reality. Whenever I was confused about something or didn’t know what to do about my problems I would pray and get answers.

Daily Strength

Another thing that helped me tremendously was waking up every morning and reading the scriptures. This was a source of truth and strength for me. It kept me from believing the lies that come with addiction. For ten to twenty minutes in the morning I was reading and writing down thoughts that came to my mind as I was reading. I learned so much and the light cut through all the darkness in my mind. This was the rope I held onto to slowly pull myself out of the quicksand. I really did feel like the truth was making me free. I still do this as it keeps me focused and happy.

True Identity

By reading the scriptures every day and praying I was able to remember who I really was instead of what the addiction made me feel like. I could remember that I was a son of God with much potential instead of the dark self-image associated with addiction.

I was also able to more easily see women in a better light. Instead of sexual objects I could look at them as daughters of God who also had much potential. I was able to continually look at women with an attitude of love and compassion instead of the dark and carnal vision that comes with filth.

If You Are Not Christian or Religious

There are many options to gain inner or spiritual strength if you are of a different religion or not religious. It still involves seeking out answers and truth, but its more of a matter of what or who you believe is the source of truth. Good books and wise people of the world are certainly not an adequate substitute for God. However, this is not a religious debate so I will just give some pointers that will help you gain inner strength through this battle.

Get a great motivational book like “Chicken Soup for the Soul” or anything written by Anthony Robbins. Stevepavlina.com is also great. Next, spent five, ten minutes or however long every morning, before you do anything, reading this material and gaining motivation and strength for the day.

Take a few minutes after reading to close your eyes and visualize the day. Visualize yourself avoiding tempting situations and being proud of yourself.

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