Do you feel like you’re walking on egg shells to achieve limited success? I know I used to. I would set a goal to be good for a week and it seemed like such a struggle to make it a day let alone a week. I thought to myself, “How am I going to do this for the rest of my life if I can barely make it a week?” Those days are over and I live life in a more relaxed manner not worried about if I can abstain from pornography or masturbation. How did that happen, you ask. Well, really I just started to think and see life differently. I still have urges and I am still tempted but I am a guy so of course I am tempted.
You see, when I first started attacking my porn addiction I just concentrated on my symptoms. In other words I wanted a quick fix to my problem. I didn’t so care what caused the problem. I just wanted to stop looking at pornography, that’s it. Well, that was my target but I wasn’t setting the goals necessary to reach that target. It’s like saying, “I want to weigh 20lbs less than I am right now” but now setting and achieving the every day little goals that are necessary to reach the result. Not only that, it must become a lifestyle if you expect to stay away from pornography or keep the pounds off. There must be a renewing of the mind and a change in lifestyle.
Just to let you know, once you get to a point where you can go weeks or months without looking at pornography then it is no longer an addiction but a weakness. You can of course relapse into addiction if you do not recover quickly from a mistake. What I’m getting at is you’re not expected to be perfect but don’t use that as an excuse to view pornography.
A few things have to change before you can become the relaxed new you. A life change first starts with a mind change. If you’re like I was then you have probably put off living life to the fullest until you overcome this addiction. This is a false way of thinking and it’s like you’re punishing yourself for being weak. If you have been neglecting your education or hobbies or talents or friends and family then stop. These things are very important to good mental health.
You’ll need to learn to enjoy each day you are alive. Part of the problem with viewing pornography is you believe, whether you realize it or not, that life is not interesting enough so you must seek out some kind of temporary pleasure to make it interesting. It is true that a bored mind cannot endure itself and will seek pleasure as a substitute. So starting today, how can you make life more interesting in a healthy wholesome way? First stop making excuses in your mind and stop putting yourself down. Take responsibility for your thoughts and think positive of yourself. This needs to become a habit. A habit of thought will become a habit of action. I can tell you from experience that if you make a goal to think positive of yourself for a month it will have amazing effects. Start with a day or a week and just see how you feel. You’ll be surprised at the difference as your addiction has trained you to think negatively of yourself.
So thinking positive of yourself is a great first step. Then you need to think positive of each day. This is called having a good attitude and everybody likes to be around people with good attitudes. You’ll have to stop looking at happiness as some distant and allusive thing in the future and start finding your joy in each day. If you’re being good to yourself and doing something productive and constructive then it will be easier to have a good attitude.
You see, you will become more relaxed and less stressed as you concentrate on the good things in life. Just thinking less about addiction and more about your new life will give you a sense of freedom even if you have not been free from pornography for very long.
Addiction is an selfish animal. It wants you to think about it and nothing else. As long as it has your focus then it has a tight grip on you. Focusing on the things you’ve been neglecting or the daily happiness you’ve been missing out on loosens the grip of addiction. Addiction is partly a thing of the mind.
So, as you adjust your thoughts and your attitude, the length of time between slip-ups will become longer and you will become more relaxed and confident. In this frame of mind a slip-up is just that, a slip-up, and you easily pick yourself back up knowing you can do better.
This does get easier and before you know it, its just a weakness and not an addiction. Get out and enjoy life and the beauty of the world.
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