Comments on: How to Stop Looking at Porn on the Computer

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:54:18 +0000

Hi Ann,

I don’t know where you live but you should try to contact Living Waters Ministries. I know they exist in the US, Canada and Australia. They might be known as Desert Stream Ministries in the US though, I’m not really sure. But I know that they run a group for women going through the same problem as yours.

By: Jay

Jay — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 12:37:32 +0000

Hi Wally, I share a lot of the same patterns and thoughts described by you. There is something that I have just came to realize in the last few minutes. I have always defended masturbation. I thought that it was healthier than building up so much sexual tension that you may be tempted to get sex from someone you shouldn’t such as having an affair, or prostitutes etc…As I sit here, I have came to realize, that masturbation is the underlying problem. As long as you think it is ok to masturbate, porn will eventually follow to provide the stimulation needed to get off. And of course as many have said, the porn will get more deviant over time to provide that stimulation. I am making a decision right now to stop masturbating period. I live away from my wife right now, so that is a very tough decision but one that I need to make none the less. To think that I can masturbate and not end up back on porn sites is just deceiving myself. Thanks for these discussions because it has caused me to think deeply about the addiction and how to break it. I hope that some of you join me in that decision. I will wait to be with my wife again instead of masturbating. This will be out of respect for me and her.

By: Saddened

Saddened — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 04:31:56 +0000

I am saddened by all of your stories. I too am touched by the porn devil, but I am on the other side. My husband has a problem with it. I don’t think I can take much more of this from him even though I know he Is trying to stop, Its the constant lies that he tells that are killing me. I feel really bad for him. He has no friends. Our relationship it falling apart. He will ultimately be alone in the end with his computer. And I think that that is really sad. I don’t understand this adiction.
It just makes me feel really sad.

By: Ryann Soled

Ryann Soled — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:06:40 +0000

Hello all,
I am with you all in this struggle. I am 35 and have been masturbating regualrly since I was about 16. I started with mags and progressed to a few porns, but that was the extent. Now with the internet, its unfortunately very easy and very accessible. My family knows nothing of my issues with porn and the other guys I know all simply act like porn is fine. Being a new Christian, it is a rather dificult challenge for me. I know it is wrong, I know it is sinful, I know it is wrong as I am masturbating, but I can’t stop once I started. I say okay just this last time so make it real good.
Once I make the declaration I will stop, I can usually do it for 3-5 days, but Living near Washington DC, there are so many beautiful women. I could be walking down the street with no idea in my mind of porn and I see a beautiful woman and I immediately undress her with my eyes. I then keep that vision in my head and hunt for porn that looks like her. After finding the exact right pictures set I masturbate to her. ONce I am done I feel terrible and say again I will stop.
So today I am once again making this declaration, I will stop looking at porn, no more for me. I must focus that excess energy on God and pray for a release from this addiction. I really want this and I just have to do it.

By: Luke

Luke — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 12:43:26 +0000

Hey guys!

It’s an eye opener how many people have a problem with porn. Its such a subtle process when you first start looking at porn and then it quickly spirals into chaos. I am 22 and started looking at porn around 14. I have managed to kick the habit for long parts of my teenage years but the last 2 years have been by far the worst and and most addictive. I’ve told family about my problem but the reality is they can’t do anything for me unless I meet them halfway as you’re always going to be alone at some point. I know its an addiction that can be overcome as i managed to do so for over 3 years. Lots of the advice on this website is very good and im gonna try and put it to good practice.
Good luck guys!!!

By: Cam

Cam — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 07:41:06 +0000

Hi,
I am a young newlywed and also new mother. Before I was married I had a good life. I was happy and I was living right. Shortly after I had my son I came home from the tanning salon to find my husband mastrabating to pornography on my computer while my 6 week old son was in his swing just feet away. My life has changed drastically. I used to be confident and loved doing thing for my husband, I loved seeing him appreciative and happy that I loved him. I now struggle every single day to be happy. To trust that my husband loves me, that he is teaching my son the ways to love and respect a woman. I wonder if I will become that wife at home while her husband is off thinking and indulging in other woman. I have never been insecure, I had many options in life in marriage. I had so many oppurtunities to succeed. I feel like he has stolen that from me. He has dragged me into a life of misery, regret, torment. I don’t feel like being with friends, being a part of facebook, or even being in a relationship period. I read many of your stories I feel so sad for the men and woman and children that are effected by it. I cannot believe that their are men and woman that would do everything in their power to get you hooked on pornography for no other reason but more money in their pockets. I read that many of you ask God to take over your addiction and hope that one day you will be cured of it. While I completely agree that it is with God that your battle of pornography can be overcome I think that God works through your works. If you show God how strong you are, you have faith that in your weak moment he will give you that extra bit of faith, but that you excercise that faith, and by excercising faith I mean truly putting a concious effort when those thoughts, or that boredom, or that thoughtless unmodestly dressed woman enters your eyesight. Pray to your Heavenly Father and talk to him as your friend, know that he is listening and in him you will find all your answers. Ask him to help you to pivot your thoughts in an uplifting direction, one that will prove your love to your wife, to your children, or any of your loved ones. I read that not too long ago… “To stay in the constant presence of light and not wander into darkness, we continually seek that light in our lives everyday”… there are so many traps set for men in our day and age. Media, music, thoughtless woman, lust for wealth and status. Don’t let them make a fool of the amazing potential we each have. I continually seek my Heavenly Fathers guidance in understanding, supporting, loving, and forgiving my husband. Also in rebuilding my confidence, security, trust, and love for my life. I truly pray that each of you will find that strength to overcome your addictions and in your weakest moments lean on a Savior who I know will complete your effort if you put in your all before you surrender to him.

By: cp

cp — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 03:09:07 +0000

I had never been able to admit I had a porn addicition until today, when I broke up with my girlfriend. Unable to fully commit to her I began to search for the real reason I had failed in this relationship and others. Instead of concluding that it was simply my commitment phobia, I believe that porn addicition was also to blame. My beliefs: that I didn’t need her, could live without her, that there would be another chance around the corner, that on my own I would never disappoint or upset someone else are derived straight from the fantastical and desensitizing world of porn. I had never seen anything wrong with porn but with the advent of the internet it has become all consuming, easy to access and inexpensive. It fits into our world of zero commitment, consumer insatiability and thrill seeking but only gives back low self esteem, shame and an inability to properly connect. It produces people who aren’t really there and who prefer to live in a world far removed from reality.
I started early after finding an abandoned mag in a local park and even told my teenage pals I wanted to be a porn photographer when I grew up. It was all fun then but as time went on I began looking at porn more often and for longer periods and now I feel greater shame after looking at these images for long periods of time. As with any addiction the key is in being able to moderate and I am not able to do this anymore. I now see the damage it is doing and vow to stop. It won’t be easy and I will approach it in the same way I gave up cigarettes-Acknowledge the problem, eliminate the exposure completely, put controls in place and replace it with something else. Its gonna be tough but I look forward to the day when I can say no and find something more positive to do with my time.

By: Travis

Travis — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 17:37:44 +0000

This is the first time I’ve “said” these words: I am addicted to internet porn. I have spent, on many days, in excess of four to six hours looking at it and masturbating. I first discovered porn when I was 10 or 11. It was my brother who introduced it to me in the form of a couple of cassette tapes borrowed from a friend. I will be thirty in september. My son, who will be 2 on July 17 has just joined me. He would be here whether I was typing on this blog, or…I love him more than anything in the world…to think that I could expose him to it. This is bigger than you or I. It is more than we can handle on our own.

I have been addicted to a lot of things. My biggest weakness is an extremely addictive personality. I’ve tried almost every drug under the sun and been addicted to many of them. Nicotine, cocaine, and alchohol were the three hardest to quit…until now.

I’ve been married now for four and a half years and my precious wife still doesn’t know. I find myself indulging so much sometimes, that I can’t even get it up anymore to be intimate with her, whether I want to or not. Sometimes I deliberately start arguments with her, if I think she might be in the mood, so that I won’t be expected to perform. I’m self employed as a general contractor, and lead several ministries within a large church. No one knows. No one but me, and it’s killing me so slowly. I hate myself for the disgust and betrayal that I know my wife would feel toward me were she to find out, and I hate myself for the legacy this is leaving for my children (number two will be here in October). Most of all, I hate myself for how I have betrayed the author of salvation, a pure and loving God, who would send his own son to die, and would have done so to save even just me. This is how I praise Him? I’m desperate.

I will pray for all of you who’s posts I have read, and all those who need to find this page. Thank you to newlifehabits, who has made me realize that I am not alone. What legacy will you leave?

By: femo

femo — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 18:44:55 +0000

Hello though am not a porn addict but once in a while i do check porn site when i feel very lonely at home. but i will go with the last step of getting rid of my personal home internet subscription since i can always use the net at the office in which there is no way i can log on to a porn site there because there is no privacy there at the office. your suggestion is really the best for me because i do not want to ever see this site again whether or not am addicted.

By: robin

robin — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 05:55:07 +0000

I am a girl addicted to porn as well. I am very glad you posted, because I was scared I was one of very few females with this addiction. Like so many of the others I truly do want to stop as well. I am a virgin, but I feel like that doesn’t apply after so much masturbation. Especially with my thoughts the way they are, not virgin like. I go to a Christian college and I feel like no one else has this problem but me. Thankfully there is a female sexual addictions small group that I plan to attend. Even if their addiction is masturbation it will be great to talk openly with other girls. I do feel isolated. I have tried councelling. I attempted an acountability partner, but she decided she was too busy. I’m scared of telling anyone else. My friends talk about helping people with addictions and encourage truthfulness, but I never feel like they would accept me after I told them. They say that now, but will they say it after I admit it? Its really affecting my grades too. Study late at night with internet? Not a good idea. I have found timing and stress to be huge factors (college). I pray that I will stop. Mostly because I do want to have a healthy relationship with my one day husband. I am scared this will affect any relationship I could have. Oh and someone on here said they were 19 and only dated once. Don’t worry I’m 23 and I’ve never dated. Way to go Christians, we’re so proactive (ha!). It’s helped me with my struggles to read these as well. I had so many ideas in my head that yes I will stop. Yes I WILL stop. will kept on being tomorrow or next month or after school or when I get married. Its rarely right now. Reading how so many have struggled with this for YEARS and even when they thought it would stop with marriage and it didn’t. That’s making me realize I need to stop it now. Its been a year and a half. I want to keep it that low of a number. Thank you, again, for posting because it is helping future generations. I want to as well be open with my husband, God help me if I ever tell my parents. But if my husband agrees I would like to tell my kids my struggles as well. So that they can stop before it starts. To teach them the bad side/ complications it accrues. I’m not a very open person and this addiction has truly pushed me to my limits. I have to be open if I am truly going to quit. And I am. Please pray that I find an accountability partner. Pray that it will stop. I will pray for you all as well. I understand the frustration and ucky feeling. God will not test us beyond our means. He knows our struggles even before they begin. He still chooses to love us. Love no matter what. God is a good God and I want to stop my addiction today. Can you tell I’m a girl? I wrote a whole novel. stupid.