Comments on: How to Stop Looking at Porn on the Computer http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/ Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:59:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Con Man http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1301 Con Man Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:27:56 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1301 I would like to thank all of you who took the time to post your stories have helped me realize the extent of my addiction. I always fooled myself that masturbation and porn was just a normal thing males do. How wrong I was! I am typical started young we didn't have easy access so I resorted to anything I could get my hands on. When the internet hit it made my addiction even worse. I have been a porn addict for 20 years and it is a part of my daily life. I probably have never gone 1 week without in all my years of addiction. It got to the point where I would plan my days around an opportunity to be home alone at my computer. How sad. I am successful, have a gorgeous wife, excellent job, people who know me at work or socially think I am this outgoing personable guy with self confidence when I am actually embarrassed, ashamed and want to crawl away somewhere by myself. My wife often accuses me of withdrawing into my own little world and now I understand why, she deserves so much better. Recently I had an affair that I take total responsibility for and amazingly she took me back. I really think that porn contributed as my own reality just wasn't enough because of this fantasy world. I can't believe I actually posted here as I am not the type to voice my problems or issues (even to my wife) and rarely want to hear about others but this page has opened my eyes. I hope this is the first step to winning this stupid battle. I am going to tell my wife tonight that I need her help, I hope she can handle one more bomb. Good luck to you all. I would like to thank all of you who took the time to post your stories have helped me realize the extent of my addiction. I always fooled myself that masturbation and porn was just a normal thing males do. How wrong I was! I am typical started young we didn’t have easy access so I resorted to anything I could get my hands on. When the internet hit it made my addiction even worse. I have been a porn addict for 20 years and it is a part of my daily life. I probably have never gone 1 week without in all my years of addiction. It got to the point where I would plan my days around an opportunity to be home alone at my computer. How sad. I am successful, have a gorgeous wife, excellent job, people who know me at work or socially think I am this outgoing personable guy with self confidence when I am actually embarrassed, ashamed and want to crawl away somewhere by myself. My wife often accuses me of withdrawing into my own little world and now I understand why, she deserves so much better. Recently I had an affair that I take total responsibility for and amazingly she took me back. I really think that porn contributed as my own reality just wasn’t enough because of this fantasy world. I can’t believe I actually posted here as I am not the type to voice my problems or issues (even to my wife) and rarely want to hear about others but this page has opened my eyes. I hope this is the first step to winning this stupid battle. I am going to tell my wife tonight that I need her help, I hope she can handle one more bomb. Good luck to you all.

]]> By: Alex http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1222 Alex Sun, 20 Jul 2008 23:07:09 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1222 It is a relief to read everyone's comments here because it shows me clearly that I was never alone with my attachments to pornography. I never really took it seriously. During the majority of my teens until now at age 22 I have been directing my sexual energy into fantasies that only isolate me emotionally. I have difficulties nurturing human relationships, especially with women. My eyes are open today. Today I see the problem I have not only kept secret from others, but especially from myself. I denied my addiction and told myself it wasn't real, even though deep inside I felt ashamed and depressed from masturbating so excessively to pornography. It's time to change. I realize that my body and my mind will need that time to recover and resensitize to the warm and loving bond that makes sex with another person so wonderful. After say about seven years of indulging in sexual fantasies that were not even really my own, I need to let go and simply begin discovering my natural sex drive, my own sexual dreams and desires. A big thank you to the person hosting this site as without him I would never have come to this important realization tonight. To everyone else struggling, don't struggle, don't fight. Accept your pain that has come with all of this, and acknowledge it. Make peace with it, and then let it go.. Namaste! It is a relief to read everyone’s comments here because it shows me clearly that I was never alone with my attachments to pornography. I never really took it seriously. During the majority of my teens until now at age 22 I have been directing my sexual energy into fantasies that only isolate me emotionally. I have difficulties nurturing human relationships, especially with women. My eyes are open today. Today I see the problem I have not only kept secret from others, but especially from myself. I denied my addiction and told myself it wasn’t real, even though deep inside I felt ashamed and depressed from masturbating so excessively to pornography.

It’s time to change. I realize that my body and my mind will need that time to recover and resensitize to the warm and loving bond that makes sex with another person so wonderful. After say about seven years of indulging in sexual fantasies that were not even really my own, I need to let go and simply begin discovering my natural sex drive, my own sexual dreams and desires. A big thank you to the person hosting this site as without him I would never have come to this important realization tonight.

To everyone else struggling, don’t struggle, don’t fight.
Accept your pain that has come with all of this, and acknowledge it. Make peace with it, and then let it go..

Namaste!

]]> By: Lee http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1073 Lee Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:12:05 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1073 I am an addict. I take responsibility for this addiction. It is mine, and mine alone. No more blaming this addiction on my uncles addictions, my fathers addictions, my mom's, or any body's but mine. It is my character flaw, my escape, my liability, and will be my downfall if not curbed. Having said all of that, and having had a porn addiction since the '60s, I feel the following may help others and myself: 1. The people producing this content are in business. Not an upstanding, make the world better business. Just the opposite if you consider it carefully. 2. The content gets racier and racier as the business loses customers due to "jadeation" and numbness that comes with repeated exposure. Talk to any ex-New York Cop. 3. This business grew out of the first publication, on the first press, in the first communication company. But it is not a communication flaw. I agree that this content is protected under the bill of rights And we also are protected under this same bill. 4. Real sex. Real porn. Real intimacy with a lover, friend, or acquaintance is so much more satisfying than I.P. could ever be. 5. The government of the US vacillates on this issue. $$ vs Morals. Tough call. The first "porn" didn't even show nipples. Then pubic hair only, then ... You get the idea. If $$ > Morals, laws are relaxed. 6. Experience has taught me: "What goes around, comes around" 7. I am constantly shocked in retrospect at what is on "my" computer. 8. Have you ever fallen into deep slumber in the arms of your PC? Satisfied? I never have. 9. I am stricken by how much pain I have caused. My partner, my children, my siblings, my co-workers, my pastor, myself. I have been "caught" by someone in every one of these groups. No more. The solution is clear. 10. I vow, today, after finding this article bookmarked on my partner's PC: I WILL LET GO, AND LET GOD. Lee I am an addict.
I take responsibility for this addiction.
It is mine, and mine alone. No more blaming this addiction on my uncles addictions, my fathers addictions, my mom’s, or any body’s but mine.
It is my character flaw, my escape, my liability, and will be my downfall if not curbed.
Having said all of that, and having had a porn addiction since the ’60s, I feel the following may help others and myself:
1. The people producing this content are in business. Not an upstanding, make the world better business. Just the opposite if you consider it carefully.
2. The content gets racier and racier as the business loses customers due to “jadeation” and numbness that comes with repeated exposure. Talk to any ex-New York Cop.
3. This business grew out of the first publication, on the first press, in the first communication company. But it is not a communication flaw. I agree that this content is protected under the bill of rights And we also are protected under this same bill.
4. Real sex. Real porn. Real intimacy with a lover, friend, or acquaintance is so much more satisfying than I.P. could ever be.
5. The government of the US vacillates on this issue. $$ vs Morals. Tough call. The first “porn” didn’t even show nipples. Then pubic hair only, then … You get the idea. If $$ > Morals, laws are relaxed.
6. Experience has taught me: “What goes around, comes around”
7. I am constantly shocked in retrospect at what is on “my” computer.
8. Have you ever fallen into deep slumber in the arms of your PC? Satisfied? I never have.
9. I am stricken by how much pain I have caused. My partner, my children, my siblings, my co-workers, my pastor, myself. I have been “caught” by someone in every one of these groups. No more. The solution is clear.
10. I vow, today, after finding this article bookmarked on my partner’s PC:
I WILL LET GO, AND LET GOD.

Lee

]]> By: Joel http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1050 Joel Sat, 28 Jun 2008 06:23:15 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1050 I have been a porn and masterbation addict for a while now. It has progressed in stages, in middle school I used to look at simple stuff like sears magazines. Then in high school I started looking at pictures of women in swimsuits on the internet. In college, away from home, it went downhill fast, I started watching videos online. Some of the things I've watched now are so unnatural and twisted, I would've never thought I would watch them 10, no 5, heck even 2 years ago. If you think you can control you can't, you just start wanting more and weirder stuff. I've never really been happy in my life for years now, I quit going to church, I haven't had a girlfriend since sophomore year college (I'm now 24), things I used to do I don't do, and I've come to realize much of this can be attributed to my addiction with porn. I have felt so ashamed and guilty and dirty. I am now trying my hardest to quit, to seperate myself from sin that seperates me form God and others. But I can't do it on my own, I know I need God to help me. To everyone else out there, don't give up, it's not hopeless, trust in God. I have been a porn and masterbation addict for a while now. It has progressed in stages, in middle school I used to look at simple stuff like sears magazines. Then in high school I started looking at pictures of women in swimsuits on the internet. In college, away from home, it went downhill fast, I started watching videos online.

Some of the things I’ve watched now are so unnatural and twisted, I would’ve never thought I would watch them 10, no 5, heck even 2 years ago. If you think you can control you can’t, you just start wanting more and weirder stuff. I’ve never really been happy in my life for years now, I quit going to church, I haven’t had a girlfriend since sophomore year college (I’m now 24), things I used to do I don’t do, and I’ve come to realize much of this can be attributed to my addiction with porn. I have felt so ashamed and guilty and dirty.

I am now trying my hardest to quit, to seperate myself from sin that seperates me form God and others. But I can’t do it on my own, I know I need God to help me. To everyone else out there, don’t give up, it’s not hopeless, trust in God.

]]> By: Eric http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1020 Eric Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:10:49 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1020 Thanks to everyone who has posted on this page. After having a secret internet porn addiction of over 10 years, my girlfriend and partner of more than 6 years just discovered me looking at porn on the computer this afternoon. The outcome of this has tremendous repercussions on our relationship as she is not one who gets off on any pornographic material and I have kept it a secret from her during our entire relationship. I have gone back and forth during this 10 year period normalizing my behavior and telling myself I have a problem that I need to address. However, I always came back to finding excuses for my actions. Now I'm uncertain as to whether or not she will be able to trust me ever again. I want to focus on kicking this addiction because I've experienced a lot of the symptoms described here and I know how I've been adversely effected. However, I feel I need to find an impartial 3rd party to help me as this is the first time I'm admitting this to anyone and am not ready to divulge this to my friends and loved ones. Thanks to everyone who has posted on this page. After having a secret internet porn addiction of over 10 years, my girlfriend and partner of more than 6 years just discovered me looking at porn on the computer this afternoon. The outcome of this has tremendous repercussions on our relationship as she is not one who gets off on any pornographic material and I have kept it a secret from her during our entire relationship. I have gone back and forth during this 10 year period normalizing my behavior and telling myself I have a problem that I need to address. However, I always came back to finding excuses for my actions. Now I’m uncertain as to whether or not she will be able to trust me ever again. I want to focus on kicking this addiction because I’ve experienced a lot of the symptoms described here and I know how I’ve been adversely effected. However, I feel I need to find an impartial 3rd party to help me as this is the first time I’m admitting this to anyone and am not ready to divulge this to my friends and loved ones.

]]> By: Ben http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1002 Ben Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:17:07 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-1002 Very honest and believable testimonials here. My heart goes out to everyone. Thank God, myself, or whatever other higher power led me to this site. I'm Ben, and like many others that have posted here, I've had this problem for many years, try 40. How was it that I would be so unfortunate to find a "nudist" magazine in an alley trash can 40 years ago. I was masturbating at a very early age, 6. It didn't help when my Uncle (at the time was 15 or 16 and was sexually active) described the act of coitus to me, I was abused physically by him as well. I don't judge him or hate him, just wish we'd never been in that situation. The sixties...yeah, free love gone haywire. As an early teen I had access to even more explicit magazines, at 16 a promiscuous 3rd cousin lured me into first fruit(got caught in the act by my mother no less!), lots of sex partners in HS, prostitutes while in the service overseas, first marriage to a swinger, enough! Somehow I've managed to survive a second marriage for 10 years now because I have a daughter to anchor me, but the addiction is still there, with a marijuana sidekick as bonus. What's deceiving is that I've held a great job, have a nice home, etc., etc. I now have a determination and a plan to stop this once and for all. I will need lots of help obviously. I didn't realize though that certain anti-depressants may be helpful. I get really depressed when trying to quit pot, based on things I've learned from this site though I think I know what to do now. The masturbation, endulgence in porn has gone on way too long. It's time I change the outlook for the second half of my life. I have to comment though that I don't think men should blame porn entirely for not being attracted to a significant other that ignores a weight problem. I may cure my addiction, but I'll not be so naive as to say I can will my way into being attracted to obesity, cellulite, and other issues that go with that body type. Cheers! Very honest and believable testimonials here. My heart goes out to everyone. Thank God, myself, or whatever other higher power led me to this site. I’m Ben, and like many others that have posted here, I’ve had this problem for many years, try 40. How was it that I would be so unfortunate to find a “nudist” magazine in an alley trash can 40 years ago. I was masturbating at a very early age, 6. It didn’t help when my Uncle (at the time was 15 or 16 and was sexually active) described the act of coitus to me, I was abused physically by him as well. I don’t judge him or hate him, just wish we’d never been in that situation. The sixties…yeah, free love gone haywire. As an early teen I had access to even more explicit magazines, at 16 a promiscuous 3rd cousin lured me into first fruit(got caught in the act by my mother no less!), lots of sex partners in HS, prostitutes while in the service overseas, first marriage to a swinger, enough!

Somehow I’ve managed to survive a second marriage for 10 years now because I have a daughter to anchor me, but the addiction is still there, with a marijuana sidekick as bonus. What’s deceiving is that I’ve held a great job, have a nice home, etc., etc.

I now have a determination and a plan to stop this once and for all. I will need lots of help obviously. I didn’t realize though that certain anti-depressants may be helpful. I get really depressed when trying to quit pot, based on things I’ve learned from this site though I think I know what to do now.

The masturbation, endulgence in porn has gone on way too long. It’s time I change the outlook for the second half of my life. I have to comment though that I don’t think men should blame porn entirely for not being attracted to a significant other that ignores a weight problem. I may cure my addiction, but I’ll not be so naive as to say I can will my way into being attracted to obesity, cellulite, and other issues that go with that body type.

Cheers!

]]> By: Ralph http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-938 Ralph Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:50:32 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-938 Yo Iv been looking at porn since I was 12, i am now 17. I know what I have to do! I have to stop. The best time of my life was when I didn't have a home and so couldn't look at porn, so in two weeks I spoke to loadsa girls and got to know them. I want to re-live those two weeks because although I only try to whack off twice a week I ultimately look at porn. Im gonna stop. because it doesn't compare to the real thing (craziness though - still crave porn) Im gonna go cold turkey and kill the internet i think. It makes me depressed afterwards cos I just look at the screen like 'jeez man, once again' I will clear my mind.... I will clear my mind... I will clear my mind Yo
Iv been looking at porn since I was 12, i am now 17. I know what I have to do! I have to stop. The best time of my life was when I didn’t have a home and so couldn’t look at porn, so in two weeks I spoke to loadsa girls and got to know them. I want to re-live those two weeks because although I only try to whack off twice a week I ultimately look at porn. Im gonna stop. because it doesn’t compare to the real thing (craziness though - still crave porn) Im gonna go cold turkey and kill the internet i think. It makes me depressed afterwards cos I just look at the screen like ‘jeez man, once again’

I will clear my mind…. I will clear my mind… I will clear my mind

]]> By: amos http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-909 amos Tue, 17 Jun 2008 04:31:32 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-909 Whether we know it or not, we are standing together, fighting side by side. We are truly at war and what we perceive as our own individual struggle against the forces that are trying to rob us of our very Humanity, is infact a battle we are fighting not just for ourselves and our personal lives but for Humanity. These challenges will only become greater and darker for those that follow, but our fight will make a difference. These addictions that make us feel like complete shit about ourselves are very real forces, forces that are working very hard to ruin the human being. Imagine a world where everyone feels isolated, alone and ashamed in themselves, where real human interaction and connection is all but forgotten. Well this is a very real and alive intention existing in the world today. It is an intention that can slip into us without our awareness and through something like an internet addiction receive our cooperation and support. I am sorry to make it sound worse then you might already experience it but to think of it and perceive it in such terms has also helped me. I cannot say I am a fully committed soldier or knight yet but I am beginning my trainning. Thank you all for sharing and fighting this incredible battle. Whether we know it or not, we are standing together, fighting side by side. We are truly at war and what we perceive as our own individual struggle against the forces that are trying to rob us of our very Humanity, is infact a battle we are fighting not just for ourselves and our personal lives but for Humanity. These challenges will only become greater and darker for those that follow, but our fight will make a difference. These addictions that make us feel like complete shit about ourselves are very real forces, forces that are working very hard to ruin the human being. Imagine a world where everyone feels isolated, alone and ashamed in themselves, where real human interaction and connection is all but forgotten. Well this is a very real and alive intention existing in the world today. It is an intention that can slip into us without our awareness and through something like an internet addiction receive our cooperation and support. I am sorry to make it sound worse then you might already experience it but to think of it and perceive it in such terms has also helped me. I cannot say I am a fully committed soldier or knight yet but I am beginning my trainning. Thank you all for sharing and fighting this incredible battle.

]]> By: Geo http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-741 Geo Fri, 06 Jun 2008 20:37:52 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-741 I have a problem with porn addiction and it's ruining my marriage. My wife said to me that it feels like I'm cheating on her, but I've tried to make it seem like she's being stupid for having these feelings. She's not stupid, I on the other hand am for trying to downplay her feelings, not listen to her legitmate complaints and tell her that I have the right to do what I want because " I'm a man". We have a great relationship otherwise and I just can't seem to let this go. 90% of our problems come from this one aspect of my behaviour and it's led to countless arguments where I try to justify my actions or make empty promises only to break them as soon as her back is turned. Wow, I just realized how much of a liar I've been because I don't want to let this go. If the shoe was on the foot would I have been as tolerant and understanding as she's been for me? I know I can only take it one day at a time, but your site has helped me to understand that this isn't going to just go away without me facing my own demons and admitting to myself that while I may gain short term satisfaction that in the long run , if this continues I'll be losing my wife ( together 19 yrs). I have a problem with porn addiction and it’s ruining my marriage. My wife said to me that it feels like I’m cheating on her, but I’ve tried to make it seem like she’s being stupid for having these feelings. She’s not stupid, I on the other hand am for trying to downplay her feelings, not listen to her legitmate complaints and tell her that I have the right to do what I want because ” I’m a man”.
We have a great relationship otherwise and I just can’t seem to let this go. 90% of our problems come from this one aspect of my behaviour and it’s led to countless arguments where I try to justify my actions or make empty promises only to break them as soon as her back is turned. Wow, I just realized how much of a liar I’ve been because I don’t want to let this go. If the shoe was on the foot would I have been as tolerant and understanding as she’s been for me? I know I can only take it one day at a time, but your site has helped me to understand that this isn’t going to just go away without me facing my own demons and admitting to myself that while I may gain short term satisfaction that in the long run , if this continues I’ll be losing my wife ( together 19 yrs).

]]> By: Jason http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-702 Jason Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:30:45 +0000 http://newlifehabits.com/2007/12/03/how-to-stop-looking-at-porn-on-the-computer/#comment-702 Just this week I've FINALLY realized I've had an addiction to porn of which I've suffered from for about 23 years. First it was the magazines and movies and later the use of the internet. The easy access that online fantasies provide made it easy for me to make my porn adventures a daily habit and in turn I became even more consumed by their poison. I've never 'spoken' of this private affair before. Incredibly, what broke my former mindset was seeing that my two long term favorite adult models, Erica Campbell and Crissy Moran, BOTH abruptly quit the industry after being called on by Christ. Their Christian testimonials are both so beautiful that it woke me up and brought me to tears. It is as if God took these two young ladies, turned them toward me, and said "Please stop !" This has also made me realize just what the porn industry does to the women we once viewed and lusted after. I now CANNOT see women in the same light I once did. My heart pours out to all us who are damaged by the industry that viewers and promoters have allowed to be all encompassing. I am now taking responsibility for my addiction. I am also asking, "What can we do to save these girls ?", "What can we do to help men like myself ?", and "Are we really acting as fellow men when we abuse the likeness of these women through the use of porn ?" Think about it. The human mind can overcome a great deal. God has installed in us the abilities we need. However, we often need help in tapping into those areas. Web sites like this are a great start. Also, for those who will believe....what man cannot do....God can. Just this week I’ve FINALLY realized I’ve had an addiction to porn of which I’ve suffered from for about 23 years. First it was the magazines and movies and later the use of the internet. The easy access that online fantasies provide made it easy for me to make my porn adventures a daily habit and in turn I became even more consumed by their poison. I’ve never ’spoken’ of this private affair before. Incredibly, what broke my former mindset was seeing that my two long term favorite adult models, Erica Campbell and Crissy Moran, BOTH abruptly quit the industry after being called on by Christ. Their Christian testimonials are both so beautiful that it woke me up and brought me to tears. It is as if God took these two young ladies, turned them toward me, and said “Please stop !” This has also made me realize just what the porn industry does to the women we once viewed and lusted after. I now CANNOT see women in the same light I once did. My heart pours out to all us who are damaged by the industry that viewers and promoters have allowed to be all encompassing. I am now taking responsibility for my addiction. I am also asking, “What can we do to save these girls ?”, “What can we do to help men like myself ?”, and “Are we really acting as fellow men when we abuse the likeness of these women through the use of porn ?” Think about it. The human mind can overcome a great deal. God has installed in us the abilities we need. However, we often need help in tapping into those areas. Web sites like this are a great start. Also, for those who will believe….what man cannot do….God can.

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