12.03.07
How to Stop Looking at Porn on the Computer
If you feel like you absolutely must use the computer but are trying to stay away from porn then there are several things you can do. First off, please understand that there is no full proof 100% way to make your computer safe from the temptation of porn. There are several deterrents that, depending on your level of addiction, could be enough to do just that, deter you from looking at porn. Even when you have been free from looking at porn for awhile you still need to make your computer safe, for in your pride you’ll think you’re strong enough until your mental armor wears thin and you give into the temptation again. So here are some tips.
1. My number one recommendation would be to get an internet filter with an accountability feature. Out of all the programs out there I would recommend a program called Covenant Eyes. Don’t let the name confuse you, this is simple a robust internet filter with monitoring and reporting capability. The big deterrent is that you have an accountability partner who receives a weekly report showing all the web sites you have visited. This software also notifies your accountability partner when you uninstall the software. This can really curb a porn addiction.
2. If you have administrator rights on the computer then it might be a good idea to have a more restricted account. For example, my wife has the password to the administrator account and I have a restricted account. This just means I can’t add or remove programs such as the monitoring software.
3. If you don’t like having a restricted account then you could just share half of the password with someone for the administrator account so you’re only on the web when someone is around.
4. All this physical restrictions are great ideas but it would also be a good idea to just set some realistic personal boundaries you know you could live by. For example, deciding not to be on the internet after 9pm. This helps in a couple of ways. First, the more tired you are the more weaker you feel and the more likely you are to give into the temptation of porn. So you could decide to only spend so many hours on the web a day, or only be on the web when someone is around or when you’re in a public place like a book store. Any personal boundaries you think might help are great. They are personal and yours so don’t let what others say or think about them bother you.
5. Lastly, if you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work and you continue to look at porn then it may be time to make a big sacrifice for the sake of saving your character from eventual complete deterioration. You may have to get rid of the internet all together or restrict access to very limited occasions. This is certainly not easy in today’s world and that would be a well thought out decision. Just remember, nothing is more important than self-mastery and it takes a lot of strength to make tough decisions like this.
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Laura Havi said,
02.02.08 at 2:50 am
Thanks for your website, its really helpful, i d like to know if you can send information about this to someone i know for sure is having a porn addiction but he doesnt know that I know. he needs help.
Thanks again.
Ann DEBock said,
02.02.08 at 6:55 pm
My Name is Ann I have been married for 22 years. My husband has been addicted to porn our entire marriage. From the first time we got married I would fined magazines and he would often call hot lines to engage in this fantasy. Now it’s the internet. He really doesn’t want to stop. He is happy with this life and says he loves me. I feel like he is having an affair. I also feel I have a troubled marriage and I want out. I am hurt and feel alone. What can i do? Is there a help support group for wifes. Ann
James said,
02.04.08 at 9:28 am
Hi, I have come to the realization that i have a porn addiction. I used to think it was no big deal, that it was normal. How wrong I was. It desensitizes you and you have to look at harder and harder stuff to get off. Its horrible. I am now looking at stuff that has no bearing on what turns me on and what I am attracted to in reality. I am 100% hetrosexual and am secure in that but, and I know this sounds contradictory, I am looking at homosexual material (as well as hardcore hetero material) because it is full on. The strange thing is I have never been attracted to men but yet here this is. I also look at hardcore hetero stuff and I just feel like I am slowly but surely substituting this strange artificial netherworld for a healthy perception of sex and real time, real world appication of that. I will apply what you have put on here but any advice would be a god send.
Cheers,
James
James Peter said,
02.07.08 at 11:47 pm
Just came across your page here(not literally, thank God! Don’t wanna ruin my computer!)and I find it very liberating.I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict and I’ve also been addicted to masturbation for years. Now, with the advent of the internet it’s starting to get out of hand. I am a good person but, like many of your commentators here, I keep looking at really sick stuff on the net here to get my kicks. Can’t even remember the last time I masturbated without net porn at this stage. Anyways it’s really become a problem now and I need to stop. I get depressed easily and I’m never satisfied. Fnd it hard to interact socially sometimes a well because of the internal shame I feel and the paranoia. Well I think I have made the first step tonight and admitted to myself that I have a problem. There ought to be a 12 step program for Wankers out there eh?? Anyway I’m gonna really try now. I want to live a decent life from here on in. I’ve got so much going for me, a beautiful girlfriend, a good job and prospects in entertainment too. Thanks for the site and all the tips. Good, as ever, to know I’m not the only one.
Aaron said,
02.17.08 at 7:35 am
I just want to say thanks. I told my pastor, but I have relapses. Pray for me. God bless, Aaron
Broken Hearted said,
02.29.08 at 12:19 am
The comment below sounds like it could be my ex-boyfriend Jim, Regardless, it fits him based on what I know. I love him so much and know that this dark side of him has ruined our future together because he let his porn addiction control him and he made me feel that he didn’t love me because we had nver fully consumated our relationship of a year. I am still so in love with the “wonderful loving man” I knew and I am having a hard time letting go even though we are not communicating for the past two days. Someone hacked into his emails and posted so awful photos of him and text like it was Jim writing to someone and it shocked the hell out of me. I thought he only liked looking at older women’s boobs which I accepted. I don’t know what to do. I am a loving kind caring woman who wants to reach out and help people and I triend to reach out to James many times, but he was always in denial and wouldn’t talk about it. I would love for us to get back together and I want to help him so much, but he has accused me of posting the photos etc. I would never do such a thing, but he assumes it was me and I can’t change that. I wish he would read this blog and seek to get professional help. I am willing to help him overcome his porn addiction, but he needs to ask for help and admit everything.
I do not love the darkside of him and his porn addiction and how deep he has become in it, but I do so much love the good side of him, the man I knew to be loving, kind, caring. I feel like I am dying inside.
Here is the comment a person left on your blog that fits my ex-boyfriend’s situation to a “T”. Any help would be great. If this person named James who left the comment on this blog and it is the James in UK I know, please know that I am here to help you get through all this please. I do love you so much baby.
*******************START OF QUOTE
James said,
February 4, 2008 at 9:28 am
Hi, I have come to the realization that i have a porn addiction. I used to think it was no big deal, that it was normal. How wrong I was. It desensitizes you and you have to look at harder and harder stuff to get off. Its horrible. I am now looking at stuff that has no bearing on what turns me on and what I am attracted to in reality. I am 100% hetrosexual and am secure in that but, and I know this sounds contradictory, I am looking at homosexual material (as well as hardcore hetero material) because it is full on. The strange thing is I have never been attracted to men but yet here this is. I also look at hardcore hetero stuff and I just feel like I am slowly but surely substituting this strange artificial netherworld for a healthy perception of sex and real time, real world appication of that. I will apply what you have put on here but any advice would be a god send.
Cheers,
James”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"END OF QUOTE
wyatt said,
03.01.08 at 4:16 am
thank you, this really helped, another suggestion i found helpful was to think of someone you love that would be completely devestated by your actions.
fleur said,
03.06.08 at 4:38 am
I really don’t know where to turn my husband is addicted to pornography and it is slowly but surely becoming hard-core and frightening for me. We have just got back together after 5 months apart and also after counselling and I foolishly thought he was ‘working’ on his addiction to porn as it has affected our 10 year relationship drastically.I had it out with him AGAIN today and tried to explain to him that I would do my utmost to support him if he would seek professional help. I am fearful that his addiction will be a downward spiral for him but I know in my heart I will become mentally sick if I stay with him under the present circumstances. How can I help him? He tells me I make him feel like a naughty schoolboy! He is totally missing the point! or chooses not to admit he has a problem. Help me please to help him.
Wally said,
03.07.08 at 6:32 pm
Hi, my name is wally and I am pretty sure I am addicted to porn. I got into my first serious relationship about a year and two months ago. My girlfriend knows about my issue and she made it very clear that she did not like it. I have since tried very hard to stop looking at the stuff. I am happy to say that I have not looked at porn for maybe about ten months or so but I keep trying to look for substitutes. I felt as though I have made some kind of progress but every now and again I find myself slipping and trying to look at things that, while they are not porn, are basically just as bad as porn, at least in my eyes and my girlfriend’s eyes. she asks me when the last time I looked at the stuff every few months and, not being able to lie to her, I tell her the truth and she gets pissed off at me. I really dont want this coming between us any more, its starting to piss me off and I feel as though it is straining our relationship somewhat. Please send me any advice that you have.
Ben said,
03.13.08 at 9:15 pm
Hello,
My name is Ben and I really know what all the people above have talked about. I am 25 and have been looking at porn since I was 13 sponsored by my mother because I was seriously sexually abused by my father and she wanted to veer me back towards a heterosexual state (it worked by the way). But, the result is that I have delt with something that I never really thought was a big deal: an on-and-off Porn Addiction. It is amazing how hard it is to just stop, how many times I have thrown away magazines (only to replenish them), fried DVDs, erased hard drives of literally HUNDREDS of gigs of porn. It is only over the last year, through a serious relationship with a girlfriend that made me realize I really held her and porn as equals (even though the sex was physically better, I still WANTED porn more! - craziness) We’ve since broken up and I have tried every thing I can think of to stop letting this addiction rob me of good sleep, confidence, and closeness to myself as well as a future new girlfriend and life in general! I will struggle on, and I will absolutely win, but it is amazingly hard to quit both masturbating and looking at porn. So far replacement of reading really interesting books and getting active with work, a gym membership and a social life have really helped inch my way there. It really helps that I have a supportive family too! So good luck to all of you who have the courage to try and heal those screwed up brain patterns, reclaim yourself, and move on with your lives! You have my utter admiration. Thanks.
James said,
03.15.08 at 6:28 am
I’m a 19 year old college student and i’ve been addicted to porn…quite a long time now… I really do appreciate for the idea of not visiting the internet after a certain hour at night or even in the evening, i haven’t really thought about it.
However, seing an attractive girl even on the news can trigger my temptation. For example, I was watching a music clip on youtube and before i had time to exit, some hot chick pops out in a bikini. The point is that you keep watching something like this and you end up in porn !!!
I think that alleviating these daily “feministic” sceneries is inevitable and futile. Internet filters,physical restrictions…i mean come on what about television, posters, magazines, newspapers ! Our focus should be totally on self-control and awareness of these kind of thoughts.
Wow…this is scary.
Sue said,
03.17.08 at 7:59 pm
I have ended my relationship with my boyfriend of nearly two years because of his addiction to internet porn. I tried to stay by his side if he admitted his wrong doings and saught help. Let me tell you, the toughest part of his addiction were all the lies that came with it and his inability to be vulnerable to me. He became very desensitized and unable to fully love me. I know he wanted to love me, but I strongly believe his addiction to porn and masturbation and fantasy became his own reality. He could no longer connect with me. I miss him terribly and wish him to get better and stay “sober” for the sake of him. Nothing good comes from this and will eventually destroy all relationships. I love you Nick and I always will.
Chris said,
03.26.08 at 12:22 am
my name is chris and i have been a hadcore porn addict since i was 12, now more than ever i find it really hard to stop,i was raised in a christian home and my dad and my mom both taught me how rong it was and i still didnt care, and then porn led to masturbation and then i realized i screwed myself over, now trying to stop is the hardest thing, i didnt leave an e-mail address so sorry.thanks, god bless your work and i am praying for everyone with the same problem.!.!just remember that God is reall so all of u who have tried everything try giving your life to christ because even though i knew who God was i didnt know him . now i have given my life to christ and he is delivering me more and more everyday . god ist going to take the addiction away at the exact moment you ask christ into your heart it will take time. because you need self-control and diligence , and faith.
Kevin said,
04.06.08 at 2:48 am
Hello.
My heart goes out to all those trying to get a handle over this terrible addiction. I can completely empathize with you. I found my first porn mag at the age of 13 just lying on the side of the street and the rest is history. I’m 35 now and can’t believe I’ve gone this long with this stupid addiction. The most I’ve gone without it in the last 22 years is 1 month. 1 MONTH! I’ve realized that you have to completely push it out of your head altogether. I usually ask God to pluck the thought from my mind before it has a chance to root. I’m not going to let this own me anymore. I’ve stopped for 2 weeks now. However, it’s very very difficult to overcome in the sexual-oriented society we live in today. If it’s not some 13 year old dressing like a porn star at the Wal Mart, it’s something as simple as Fox News and the banners they advertise with scantily clad girls. I’m sick of it. I can’t change the world, but I damn sure can change how I react to it. If you’re trying to quit, or have quit, Good luck and God bless all of you.
Denniis said,
04.11.08 at 11:24 pm
Hi, my name is Dennis and I can relate to everyone who has posted here. I am a recovering alcoholic,clean for 19 years. I am living the american dream,nice house with property,beautiful wife,all the big boy toys and a job where I work about 8 monthes out of the year.I am 48 years old and I pride myself as being strong willed and if your not happy with any aspect of your life then simply change it.I have been with my wife for 10 years now and about 3 years into our marriage we got our first computer. In the beginning the porn was fun and my wife knew about it and since it has grown into this monster that has taken over my life. I have tried to stop countless times and it is more difficult than any non addict can imagine. I love my wife very much and this is killing her inside. The longest I’ve gone without porn in the last 7 years is 10 days.Pretty disturbing! I receive my work orders by email or I would not have a computer.I went through an extensive rehab program for alcoholism at a very nice facility and I could teach the 12 step program with the best of them.This addiction is robbing me of everything I have worked so hard to achieve. I avoid physical contact with my wife,we have had sex maybe 5 times in the last year. I have lost my zest for life.I have overcome more adversity than any 10 men but this is by far my greatest challenge. I know the old me is still in there somewhere and I will find him,I know my wife will be glad to see him,by the way who has been supportive and understanding. And to all the wives and girlfriends out there believe me this is not something we choose to do no matter how much you think it is.It is the most bizzare,discusting,self degrading,lonely way of life I have ever known. I will continue to fight for my self worth and self respect back and for my beautiful wife who doesn’t deserve any of this. I have read several posts from wives who have given up and left, I feel sorry for the men they left, to be addicted to this hell and be alone, I can’t imagine.I will never give up until I am free. I WILL WIN!!!!!
Brian Witters said,
04.20.08 at 2:16 am
Hi,
I’m 23 and have been addicted to porn and masturbation for 7 years, on-again off-again. I resolved to quit 18 days ago and have been free of it. Yesterday out of boredom I looked at female models pictures and today I was looking at porn. I’m ashamed, I have to prevent myself from being in this constellation: bored, at home, sitting in front of the computer.
I know alot of guys do this without admitting it, I suspect almost all guys do this but some just keep it more in control than others. Well, not me anymore, Im done with it. This is no way to live and it keeps me in isolation and feeling dirty and weird.
William said,
04.27.08 at 4:51 pm
Hi I am 31 and started masturbating when I was 15 and never looked back since. I started looking at porn when I was about 20 and my life has now spiralled out of control thanks to internet porn.
I come from a very strong christian background but I am now totally ashamed of my life style and totally withdrawn from living a happy normal life. I even find it hard to form a good relationship.
I have decided to quit porn and straighten myself out tonite and I was looking at a few website and came across this one.
Thanks for the professional advice here and all those who have shared.
By God’s grace, I will overcome and live a normal life here on!
God help me!!
Theodore E. said,
05.16.08 at 8:18 pm
My name is Ted,
I am an internet porn addict. I am going to get married in about four months and I desperately want to end my addiction to pornography or deal with it some how. Maybe I am just a recovering pornography addict. Anyway, I can only quit for a few days at a time. If I’m not bored, I’m stressed, if I’m not alone, I’ll find a way. It’s really sad and I can’t stop!! The problem with Filters is that I don’t have a computer that I can install one on. I co-own a computer with my roomate. I don’t think I’m smart enough to set one up with out causing problems that my roommate wouldn’t notice.
Chris said,
05.28.08 at 3:27 pm
Reading this page made me realize how so many other people are/were in the same position that I am in. I am a porn addict. I go back and forth with myself thinking that it’s a problem and then just shrugging it off. I have a loving girlfriend of over 8 months and I want to fully focus on her and start my career off on the right track (just graduated college a week ago). I don’t know if it’s because of porn or not but I realize I have really retreated from many of my friendships and social relationships of late, and that I have not been the best boyfriend. Socially I am ashamed, once again I’m not sure if this is because of porn or not, but I have a feeling it is. Today is the first day and time to take the first steps. I hope to come back and read this to hold myself accountable. I’m sure I will stumble on my path, but I know with Christ’s help I can do this!
Jason said,
06.05.08 at 6:30 pm
Just this week I’ve FINALLY realized I’ve had an addiction to porn of which I’ve suffered from for about 23 years. First it was the magazines and movies and later the use of the internet. The easy access that online fantasies provide made it easy for me to make my porn adventures a daily habit and in turn I became even more consumed by their poison. I’ve never ’spoken’ of this private affair before. Incredibly, what broke my former mindset was seeing that my two long term favorite adult models, Erica Campbell and Crissy Moran, BOTH abruptly quit the industry after being called on by Christ. Their Christian testimonials are both so beautiful that it woke me up and brought me to tears. It is as if God took these two young ladies, turned them toward me, and said “Please stop !” This has also made me realize just what the porn industry does to the women we once viewed and lusted after. I now CANNOT see women in the same light I once did. My heart pours out to all us who are damaged by the industry that viewers and promoters have allowed to be all encompassing. I am now taking responsibility for my addiction. I am also asking, “What can we do to save these girls ?”, “What can we do to help men like myself ?”, and “Are we really acting as fellow men when we abuse the likeness of these women through the use of porn ?” Think about it. The human mind can overcome a great deal. God has installed in us the abilities we need. However, we often need help in tapping into those areas. Web sites like this are a great start. Also, for those who will believe….what man cannot do….God can.
Geo said,
06.06.08 at 8:37 pm
I have a problem with porn addiction and it’s ruining my marriage. My wife said to me that it feels like I’m cheating on her, but I’ve tried to make it seem like she’s being stupid for having these feelings. She’s not stupid, I on the other hand am for trying to downplay her feelings, not listen to her legitmate complaints and tell her that I have the right to do what I want because ” I’m a man”.
We have a great relationship otherwise and I just can’t seem to let this go. 90% of our problems come from this one aspect of my behaviour and it’s led to countless arguments where I try to justify my actions or make empty promises only to break them as soon as her back is turned. Wow, I just realized how much of a liar I’ve been because I don’t want to let this go. If the shoe was on the foot would I have been as tolerant and understanding as she’s been for me? I know I can only take it one day at a time, but your site has helped me to understand that this isn’t going to just go away without me facing my own demons and admitting to myself that while I may gain short term satisfaction that in the long run , if this continues I’ll be losing my wife ( together 19 yrs).
amos said,
06.17.08 at 4:31 am
Whether we know it or not, we are standing together, fighting side by side. We are truly at war and what we perceive as our own individual struggle against the forces that are trying to rob us of our very Humanity, is infact a battle we are fighting not just for ourselves and our personal lives but for Humanity. These challenges will only become greater and darker for those that follow, but our fight will make a difference. These addictions that make us feel like complete shit about ourselves are very real forces, forces that are working very hard to ruin the human being. Imagine a world where everyone feels isolated, alone and ashamed in themselves, where real human interaction and connection is all but forgotten. Well this is a very real and alive intention existing in the world today. It is an intention that can slip into us without our awareness and through something like an internet addiction receive our cooperation and support. I am sorry to make it sound worse then you might already experience it but to think of it and perceive it in such terms has also helped me. I cannot say I am a fully committed soldier or knight yet but I am beginning my trainning. Thank you all for sharing and fighting this incredible battle.
Ralph said,
06.18.08 at 7:50 pm
Yo
Iv been looking at porn since I was 12, i am now 17. I know what I have to do! I have to stop. The best time of my life was when I didn’t have a home and so couldn’t look at porn, so in two weeks I spoke to loadsa girls and got to know them. I want to re-live those two weeks because although I only try to whack off twice a week I ultimately look at porn. Im gonna stop. because it doesn’t compare to the real thing (craziness though - still crave porn) Im gonna go cold turkey and kill the internet i think. It makes me depressed afterwards cos I just look at the screen like ‘jeez man, once again’
I will clear my mind…. I will clear my mind… I will clear my mind
Ben said,
06.23.08 at 11:17 pm
Very honest and believable testimonials here. My heart goes out to everyone. Thank God, myself, or whatever other higher power led me to this site. I’m Ben, and like many others that have posted here, I’ve had this problem for many years, try 40. How was it that I would be so unfortunate to find a “nudist” magazine in an alley trash can 40 years ago. I was masturbating at a very early age, 6. It didn’t help when my Uncle (at the time was 15 or 16 and was sexually active) described the act of coitus to me, I was abused physically by him as well. I don’t judge him or hate him, just wish we’d never been in that situation. The sixties…yeah, free love gone haywire. As an early teen I had access to even more explicit magazines, at 16 a promiscuous 3rd cousin lured me into first fruit(got caught in the act by my mother no less!), lots of sex partners in HS, prostitutes while in the service overseas, first marriage to a swinger, enough!
Somehow I’ve managed to survive a second marriage for 10 years now because I have a daughter to anchor me, but the addiction is still there, with a marijuana sidekick as bonus. What’s deceiving is that I’ve held a great job, have a nice home, etc., etc.
I now have a determination and a plan to stop this once and for all. I will need lots of help obviously. I didn’t realize though that certain anti-depressants may be helpful. I get really depressed when trying to quit pot, based on things I’ve learned from this site though I think I know what to do now.
The masturbation, endulgence in porn has gone on way too long. It’s time I change the outlook for the second half of my life. I have to comment though that I don’t think men should blame porn entirely for not being attracted to a significant other that ignores a weight problem. I may cure my addiction, but I’ll not be so naive as to say I can will my way into being attracted to obesity, cellulite, and other issues that go with that body type.
Cheers!
Eric said,
06.25.08 at 9:10 am
Thanks to everyone who has posted on this page. After having a secret internet porn addiction of over 10 years, my girlfriend and partner of more than 6 years just discovered me looking at porn on the computer this afternoon. The outcome of this has tremendous repercussions on our relationship as she is not one who gets off on any pornographic material and I have kept it a secret from her during our entire relationship. I have gone back and forth during this 10 year period normalizing my behavior and telling myself I have a problem that I need to address. However, I always came back to finding excuses for my actions. Now I’m uncertain as to whether or not she will be able to trust me ever again. I want to focus on kicking this addiction because I’ve experienced a lot of the symptoms described here and I know how I’ve been adversely effected. However, I feel I need to find an impartial 3rd party to help me as this is the first time I’m admitting this to anyone and am not ready to divulge this to my friends and loved ones.
Joel said,
06.28.08 at 6:23 am
I have been a porn and masterbation addict for a while now. It has progressed in stages, in middle school I used to look at simple stuff like sears magazines. Then in high school I started looking at pictures of women in swimsuits on the internet. In college, away from home, it went downhill fast, I started watching videos online.
Some of the things I’ve watched now are so unnatural and twisted, I would’ve never thought I would watch them 10, no 5, heck even 2 years ago. If you think you can control you can’t, you just start wanting more and weirder stuff. I’ve never really been happy in my life for years now, I quit going to church, I haven’t had a girlfriend since sophomore year college (I’m now 24), things I used to do I don’t do, and I’ve come to realize much of this can be attributed to my addiction with porn. I have felt so ashamed and guilty and dirty.
I am now trying my hardest to quit, to seperate myself from sin that seperates me form God and others. But I can’t do it on my own, I know I need God to help me. To everyone else out there, don’t give up, it’s not hopeless, trust in God.
Lee said,
07.02.08 at 10:12 pm
I am an addict.
I take responsibility for this addiction.
It is mine, and mine alone. No more blaming this addiction on my uncles addictions, my fathers addictions, my mom’s, or any body’s but mine.
It is my character flaw, my escape, my liability, and will be my downfall if not curbed.
Having said all of that, and having had a porn addiction since the ’60s, I feel the following may help others and myself:
1. The people producing this content are in business. Not an upstanding, make the world better business. Just the opposite if you consider it carefully.
2. The content gets racier and racier as the business loses customers due to “jadeation” and numbness that comes with repeated exposure. Talk to any ex-New York Cop.
3. This business grew out of the first publication, on the first press, in the first communication company. But it is not a communication flaw. I agree that this content is protected under the bill of rights And we also are protected under this same bill.
4. Real sex. Real porn. Real intimacy with a lover, friend, or acquaintance is so much more satisfying than I.P. could ever be.
5. The government of the US vacillates on this issue. $$ vs Morals. Tough call. The first “porn” didn’t even show nipples. Then pubic hair only, then … You get the idea. If $$ > Morals, laws are relaxed.
6. Experience has taught me: “What goes around, comes around”
7. I am constantly shocked in retrospect at what is on “my” computer.
8. Have you ever fallen into deep slumber in the arms of your PC? Satisfied? I never have.
9. I am stricken by how much pain I have caused. My partner, my children, my siblings, my co-workers, my pastor, myself. I have been “caught” by someone in every one of these groups. No more. The solution is clear.
10. I vow, today, after finding this article bookmarked on my partner’s PC:
I WILL LET GO, AND LET GOD.
Lee
Alex said,
07.20.08 at 11:07 pm
It is a relief to read everyone’s comments here because it shows me clearly that I was never alone with my attachments to pornography. I never really took it seriously. During the majority of my teens until now at age 22 I have been directing my sexual energy into fantasies that only isolate me emotionally. I have difficulties nurturing human relationships, especially with women. My eyes are open today. Today I see the problem I have not only kept secret from others, but especially from myself. I denied my addiction and told myself it wasn’t real, even though deep inside I felt ashamed and depressed from masturbating so excessively to pornography.
It’s time to change. I realize that my body and my mind will need that time to recover and resensitize to the warm and loving bond that makes sex with another person so wonderful. After say about seven years of indulging in sexual fantasies that were not even really my own, I need to let go and simply begin discovering my natural sex drive, my own sexual dreams and desires. A big thank you to the person hosting this site as without him I would never have come to this important realization tonight.
To everyone else struggling, don’t struggle, don’t fight.
Accept your pain that has come with all of this, and acknowledge it. Make peace with it, and then let it go..
Namaste!
Con Man said,
07.28.08 at 10:27 pm
I would like to thank all of you who took the time to post your stories have helped me realize the extent of my addiction. I always fooled myself that masturbation and porn was just a normal thing males do. How wrong I was! I am typical started young we didn’t have easy access so I resorted to anything I could get my hands on. When the internet hit it made my addiction even worse. I have been a porn addict for 20 years and it is a part of my daily life. I probably have never gone 1 week without in all my years of addiction. It got to the point where I would plan my days around an opportunity to be home alone at my computer. How sad. I am successful, have a gorgeous wife, excellent job, people who know me at work or socially think I am this outgoing personable guy with self confidence when I am actually embarrassed, ashamed and want to crawl away somewhere by myself. My wife often accuses me of withdrawing into my own little world and now I understand why, she deserves so much better. Recently I had an affair that I take total responsibility for and amazingly she took me back. I really think that porn contributed as my own reality just wasn’t enough because of this fantasy world. I can’t believe I actually posted here as I am not the type to voice my problems or issues (even to my wife) and rarely want to hear about others but this page has opened my eyes. I hope this is the first step to winning this stupid battle. I am going to tell my wife tonight that I need her help, I hope she can handle one more bomb. Good luck to you all.