Comments on: Create Your Own Rehab

By: Sofi

Sofi — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 14:00:19 +0000

My partner is a porn addict , he said he will stop by not thinking or talking about it. However, this is the third time I caught him for the last 9 years… Now he confessed to me that he never wanted to stop and he didn’t feel bad because he thought I just wanted to control him. He said he will stop but I can’t trust him.. He will not go to therapy … He goes to four conferences to Vegas a year and he will go because is part of his job I told him is best for him not too go it will be too tempting for him… Is this too much to ask? I don’t think I can handle this anymore… If there is not trust , why stay right?

By: Erik

Erik — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 05:50:41 +0000

18. I would say it’s been an addiction for about a year now. for while I felt like I had it completely under control, once every couple weeks just when it’s been awhile between my girlfriend and me. I don’t know about god, i’m strongly agnostic, but I do know this stuff makes me feel miserable. I think everybody has to go through it at one point or another–it’s only human. It’s the choice to indulge or ignore that sets us apart. I chose to ignore for awhile but eventually curiosity got the better of me. Now the flares happen more and more often and I find myself beginning to think differently. I know I’m not in that deep yet, but i need to stop now.
You guys have encouraged me. Thank you.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 00:44:31 +0000

Hey everyone, I think this is just, in plain site, a message from God. I’ve been a Christian for about 10 years now and I see no reason to have pornography in my life. Somehow it seems to dig it’s slimy fingers into my life. I was doing alright for a good two months, and then it started up again.

By: mike

mike — Mon, 11 May 2009 13:01:36 +0000

I’ve been reading the posts and I can identify with almost everyone. I discovered this garbage when I was about 15. My brother and I would go to our grandma’s house during the summers and she had cable. Well, I was viewing tv one night when I came across a channel that was scribbled, but I could hear the sounds crystal clear. That piqued my interest. My uncle also lived with her and one day when I was looking for something and I came across a bag of unmarked videos, I became curious. I wish I would’ve left it alone. I put the video in and it was something x-rated. I was blown away. That marked the genesis of my struggle. I too am determined to beat this because I have too much at stake, one being my soul. We will beat this and come out stronger because GOD can change anyone. I’ll be praying for everyone, and please pray for me.

By: migs

migs — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 16:04:08 +0000

Jacob you could try reading every man’s battle or every young man’s battle. It helped me a lot and I have faith in Jesus that He would heal us all someday.You might want to try k9 Bluecoat filter, it’s free compared to covenant eyes. I think we should find sommeone really accountable and at least we could be honest as Christians.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 04:46:53 +0000

I’m struggling with an addiction, too. My biggest problem is that I can’t install Covenant Eyes or another filter because I can’t come out with it that I’m into porn. I have an image with my family and friends of being the good and pure one. The only reason I’m in this addiction is because of Google Image Search. I used to see how long it would take for random words to end up with a naked person. From there it only got worse. I’ve been carrying on this secretly for nearly five years now and I’m more than sick of it. Many times I have tried to quit, but every time I ended up having a relapse. All it takes is one little submission and I’m back in the pit. I really wish I could get a filter or an accountability program, but if I install these on my computer, it will cause questioning from my family and it’ll have to come out. I simply can’t come out because it will ruin my Christian witness. It’s a problem I have to deal with by myself (with God of course). Something I have been trying recently is whenever I start to think of anything close to porn I say to myself “Give it to God.” and I hand the situation to God. As long as I do that, I have never fallen after. But sometimes I’ll avoid giving it to God and that’s when I fall. I must become better at this.

Does anybody know of a free and confidential service I can sign up for that will give me an accountability partner that’s completely web-based and honor-system based?

By: Craig

Craig — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:08:21 +0000

Im 17 and Ive suffered from this addiction for 3 years, i was always told it was a cool thing to do at school, i wanted to fit in, so i started viewing porn. Im too afraid to tell my girlfriend, the shame might imply her to dump me, leaving me in a worse position, however porn hasnt effected my sex life, i just want the constant urges to view porn when shes not around to stop, i feel dishonest and depressed all the time, i really need help.

By: Without Shame, but With Truth

Without Shame, but With Truth — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:39:12 +0000

Thank you for this site! I have never spoken–until this week–about my addiction to masturbation. I am 53. I have been masturbating since I was 11 and the addictive aspects have been unknown to me for most of those years. I only thought it was a “challenge” for me to stop masturbating. Viewing porn has intensified the steepness of my descent into the addiction.

I have noticed, of late, how my masturbation behavior contributes to my emotional and interpersonal distance from my wife. In more obvious ways, it has interfered with a healthy and consistent sex life for many years. I don’t know how much masturbation has contributed to those times when I am irritable and short-tempered, but I am betting that it has.

First in therapy, and now in my own way, I have begun to confront this head on. Speaking the truth–no matter how difficult–holds the key to unlock the door that imprisons me in this addiction. To that end, after installing porn filtering software on my computer, I told my wife everything about my masturbation and porn-viewing behavior. She is confused and somewhat distant. I don’t blame her.

I recite an affirmation, taped to my mirror, at least 5 times every day: “I deserve to be free of all limiting obsessions (m, p, r’s, a, f, t, c), so that I may enjoy a truly rich and rewarding relationship with (my wife’s name) and love myself more as well.” The initials in parentheses stand for: “masturbation”, “porn”, “relationships”, “alcohol”, “food”, “television”, and “computer”. If I am unable to abstain from masturbation and do not engage in healthier things instead, I will attend meetings of the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meetings in my area to support me further. I will also continue to address this in therapy.

I also do not blame myself. I am not a shameful, or evil person. To believe that I am does not help me. I am loved. I am lovable. I am a good person. So are we all. Stepping towards health and moving away from addiction to masturbation is just plain good for me/us. I do not become a better person because of this positive move. I DO expect to be more present, more loving, less irritable, and more engaged because of this positive move.

Blessings to me and blessings to us all.

By: adrian dorton chadwick

adrian dorton chadwick — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 04:19:39 +0000

hello all. i hope yr evenings have been free of struggle. me? i hope and pray too. and i’ve found great strength and consistency in being able to control/dissuade/overcome my urges by creating my own ritual. it’s going to be different for all of us, of course. but i have made a personal a.m. ceremony. i start my day with silence, tea, vows, and i spend a moment being grateful to someone in my life. i tell them later that day, too. i feels beautifully constructive. and at day 21. (the magic addiction breaking point grain of salt, taken!) when i get there, i will commemorate and celebrate with milestone tattoo markers. i’ve tried to hit day 21 for a while now. like a 6 months while. soon. for those who don’t accept tattoos as a lifestyle choice i’m sure you can invent yr own elements of ritual. i see so many shades of grey in all of our testimonials. for me, masturbation in and of itself is okay. excess? isolation? asocial behaviour? lack of self respect!!? that is the problem that results for me. its the link between the pornography and the masturbation. if i masturbate on my own i fantasize almost exclusively about my girlfriend. in my life philosophy, that is healthy. if i look at porn (on the computer) i hardly think at all: nothing situational, its a giddy vague arousal–this odd gut feeling of crossing a taboo. and later another. and with blind link, perverse images i am not sexually stimulated by, but am compelled to view. and largely, they represent injustice, exploitative action and potential physchological scarring for the practioners of porn as well as the consumers. its a dangerous industry. i thank you all for you candor, i hope you can appreciate mine. and i hope you find strength and renewed self worth.
best

By: john

john — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:47:16 +0000

Hi,

I’ve been addicted to porn for more than 20 years. There is no doubt that it has greatly changed me as a person. Personally, I believe that addictions are meeting a specific need in your life, it’s just doing so in a totally negative way. I think for me it serves to allow me to numb out and escape from life. I have become a recluse and a mere shadow of the passionate person before the addiction began.

I’m also addicted to alcohol and have found that it certainly fuels my porn addiction bcz my defenses are down when I’m drunk and will spend even more time on the computer surfing.

I quit drinking for 5 years and have recently quit again. It had to be done if I value the prospect of a life lived with self respect and true meaningful relationships. At the moment I keep my girlfriend at arm’s length by using porn. She can feel it, and although I have been honest with her about my addiction, she doesn’t know the full extent. I can spend 6 hours at a time surfing when I”m really looking to escape.

Anyway, at one point I used the website and program ‘RecoveryNation.com’ and I just wanted to share that here so that those that feel they need a program that can be done on your own or with the aid of a coach, will have another resource.

I think it’s important to ask yourself how your addiction is serving you. I guess that’s the same question as ‘What is the root cause.’ I do believe that constant thought control is necessary and that you must be mindful of your thoughts during all waking hours. So, if you come up with a possible ‘root cause’ then you can find a positive way to fill that void in yourself and start there. Fill your schedule with positive, passionate activities, and the addiction won’t be on your mind. It’s making better decisions moment to moment that will aid you.

Best of luck to all of you making the tough decisions such as removing your private internet access, but just ask yourself one question that may help you…”What’s it gonna cost you if you don’t make these changes?”

I believe that this addiction is in your life to help you to see something extremely important, and to help you move to that next level in your own personal awareness. What is your addiction trying to tell you?

I’m reading ‘A New Earth’ by Eckhart Tollle. For me it’s pretty damn deep, but wow, what a ride:)