10.10.07
Are You Willing to do What it Takes?
There is no magic pill, no secret program, no super special technique to overcome an addiction. There are, however, steps and techniques you have forgotten or just never learned. The problem is, even with all the right knowledge and techniques at you disposal you won’t just automatically overcome addiction. There comes a point where you have to choose to work enough, believe enough, and be motivated enough to earn success.
I speak from experience on this one. Some days will seem easy. You’ll be able to easily resist temptation in a relaxed manner. These are the days you’ve desired to have for a long time, so when they come you feel relieved and happy. But you must remember that this will only be true on some days. Most days, all your life, will require work. They will require you to exert your physical and mental energies to stay clean. We must not be lured into thinking that we no longer have to work as hard as we did before. As long as you are on this earth there will be temptations.
I do no say these things to discourage but to prepare. You will get stronger with time and it will be easier to resist temptation. All I’m trying to say here is that there will rarely be a day that will not require you to work at staying clean. It takes constant and every day effort to maintain a clean happy life. Happiness will always require more work than the misery associated with bad choices.
So every day you have to wake up and decide you are willing to exert your personal powers to make the right choices all day. This will become a great habit and prepare you for the really difficult days ahead. I say this because some days will seem like “The Perfect Storm” in which every thing seems combined against you. For example, you wake up with little sleep, you’re irritated at work, your boss won’t leave you alone, the bills are stacking up, you get into an accident on the way home, you argue with your wife,you’re having a hard time controlling your thoughts, and finally you see an inappropriately dressed girl on TV. Well, in those circumstances it just seems like you can’t take it anymore and you are so tempted to give into temptation and go on a pornography binge. Believe it or not, even in these circumstances, it is still your choice to do the work to resist temptation and maintain a positive attitude.
How much you are willing to work is directly tied to how much you believe in the process of change, in a better life, and your personal powers to change. If you stop working and give into temptation or fall short of your goal it is simply because you did not have enough faith and motivation. How do you get that faith and motivation? You choose to have it. Nobody can give it to you or make you have it. There are people and sources that can help you to have it but it is ultimately your choice to have enough faith and motivation to keep working no matter what the circumstances are.
Masturbation and pornography can make you feel powerless. It is true to these things bind you and restrict your freedom to choose. However,though it may feel like it, these things do not have complete control over you. You still have enough power to fight back and reclaim the lost ground in the internal battle you’ve been engaged in. It will not be instant but gradual and eventual. In fact, with perseverance success is inevitable. However, this requires work. Sometimes it will require you to exert all the energies of your soul to resist temptation, but you are not alone. Heavenly Father promises to bless you with the extra strength you need, after you have done all you can do. You will know when you’ve done all you can do because that is the time when his power kicks in and you will be victorious. He loves you enough to not do all the work for you but help you when you’ve done all you can do. Even if you are not religious, just do all you can do and you will be rewarded with success. You will feel an extra boost of power from a source beyond yourself.
Just keep working!
Ask yourself these questions with “10″ representing the most:
1. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do I really want to overcome porn addiction or any kind of addiction?
2. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do I believe in my power to overcome addiction?
3. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much am I willing to work every single day to overcome addiction?
Answer these questions honestly. If you are lacking in one or more of these areas then work to improve the numbers and you will have more success.
Success will not come by accident or luck. It will come because you worked for it and earned it.
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Drug Addiction » Blog Archive » Are You Willing to do What it Takes? said,
10.10.07 at 9:52 am
[…] Find the link to this great post here […]
Paul said,
11.03.07 at 7:00 pm
Even now I am still addicted, even now I still act out and I hate that this is what has become of me. My exposure as a young child caused me to find a drug that would always be available. I think of it and the injection rush floods my body, to this day years and years later, I am still bound by my hands, hopeless. I have lied to the bishop, I have lied to my wife, I have lied to everyone. The efforts to conceal my addictions are exhausting and frustrating. How do I get rid of this scar, the scar of my youth still visible, the scar of countless hours of viewing pornography, I want to come clean and confess all to everyone, I want to live a full life, full of the spirit I miss so much and long to have. Where is the pivot of fate going to lie? How hard it is when there is no ultimatum, but I am slowly severing my ties with my heavenly father, left to myself to change, because of fear. I live in constant fear, and as the years go by I stay afraid.
I am afraid of failure, I live my days out in fear. I am frightened to go out in public because there will always be pornography even in the smallest degree. This is the straw that will unleash the memories I have tried so hard to forget. I feel the adversary near me constantly, whispering me to seek it out, to dwell on it, he wont leave me alone. How am I to function? How am I to live a normal life, in fear? This time for me ia a sensitive time, where I tread a thin line of a rope, so easy to fall yet so hard to keep balance, I am out of practice and I hope it will get easier with time. Iremain afraid.
Jeremy Garcia said,
11.10.07 at 6:32 am
In regards to what Paul said i feel the same way, i can relate to that exactly as if i wrote it myself, i was exposed to pornographic material at a very young age. I feel like it has destroyed my life and and i know god is helping me because even though my mind is foggy and my vision is a little blurry God helps me invision myself as the man i want to be and the man i strive to be focused, strong body, mind, and soul and pure thoughts. And when i am finished with my test i know im gonna be everything i want to be im going to have girls,money,love, and happiness and my suffering will be gone. The funny thing is that im a pretty good looking kid im physically healthy and i have a big muscular body anyone would look at me and think im perfect if they only were in my shoes they would know that thats not the deal. I feel progression everyday but its hard for me im only 17 and i feel like my testoterone is going to burst out of my veins. I have so much potential and im so talented everyone tells me im good at sports, im smart, im good at art, the art of combat, and i aspire to do great things and to be a movie director but i need this terrible addiction to pass by me. Im very confused in my life rite now and i feel like both God and the Devil are both trying to help me God in His way and the Devil in his, I just need to follow the righteous path and the path towards Gods ways. Every time i masturbate i feel like a chunk of my manhood is being taken away from me. I need to get myself focused and get my life back on track i feel my family and friends slowly drifting aways from me, please get back to me with some tips. Im not as scared anymore to admit i have a problem i tell most of my close friends that im trying to stop masturbating. I really feel like im gonna stop this time for my sake, the sake of God. Thanks for listening please get back to me.
PS. is their someone that i can email directly like one on one help so i can get a more instant and effective results? Im only 17 I want to heal myself from this addiction asap, I have so much more life to live. Thanks
Corey Evans said,
12.23.07 at 9:47 am
I recently came to terms with my addiction and faced the truth that these conditions overwhelm me and are deteriorating my lifestyle. Im only 18 years old and since the age of 12 I’ve experienced a long and losing battle to masturbation and pornography addiction. Its gone beyond the point of internet pornography towards other sources but not to the extent where it is noticeable by anyone but myself. After reading several articles from this website I realize how much of a stranglehold this addiction has had on my life socially and recently recognizing its impacts on my academic career. I recently failed a class in my first year of University. Not because I’m stupid, but because i didnt exercise my full potential. For a while now I’ve recognized that this addiction has impeded my progress throughout school and although I’ve experienced good situations in academics, its beginning to take its toll. Now more than ever do I have the motivation to persist and overcome this. I know I muist develop a system in which I am motivated to prioritize and persevere without pornography, sex or masturbation on my mind. Although this will be a tough journey, I am confident that I can do it as long as I stick to my convictions, stay motivated and change into a solid routine that supports my real life goals.
haz said,
02.19.08 at 1:59 pm
i used to love wathching porn i always thought that woman was god’s gift to man i use to belive that sex was given to us to enjoy i would always talk of how the great solomon had 500 wives so it cant be wrong. I recently started reading my bible again and i came across a pasage saying that “the man who even thinks in a lustfull way is condem cause he is committing adultry in his mind and will be condemmed” This got me thinking about my own mind state. I find porn so exciting and i love to watch it but now im very concious of my lusting and i feel i must stop this obssesion to save myself from hells damnation. Despite this i find myself even more drawn to it. Ill sit and watch it all day with two sets of conciouses 1 of sheer enjoyment; 2 of real fear of gods words. i feel so confused im 41 years old and have from a very early age had a real love of sex, porn, and the feminin form. I think about sex evry day , i look at women in a lustfull way everyday and have done for many years. But porn is my access to plenty of “femminin form and i cant stop mysely from indulging. Im so confused and frustrated cause i feel it is wrong in gods eyes but i just cant resist having a look. Its not about being desperate with me in terms of not being able to find a partner cause im in a relationship and its never been a problem . Its just that i enjoy watching porn but for my spiritual well being i know i must stop i would appriciate any help you can offer
Dahir said,
03.18.08 at 3:48 pm
It all started when i was 11, when a freind of mine described his experience with masturbation.This new discovery as he said was his ultimate pleasure and had asked me to have a try.That day 20 years ago was the begining of a painful journey.I masturbated most of the time but i was lucky because i had lots of friends and a big family so i sometimes didnt have the space to think of it.Thinking back of those years when i used to experience the side-effects of masturbation which i was not aware of makes me feel sad.Low self-esteem, fear, anxiety, fatigue and dirty thoughts, you name it i had them all.Now my battle to this destructive habit is improving.There are times when i don’t masturbate or view any pornagraphic materials and in those days i experience happiness and the joy of life itself.I am extremely confident, healthy looking, productive, organised with high level of self-esteem..One week, two weeks or sometimes 2 months without masturbating or viewing any pornographic images and i m high in the sky.During this gap i declare to myself my triumph of overcoming this destroying habit and that i will never do it again.And before i know it, i am back to it again and again and the journey begins.I would read the effects of this addiction from the internet so that it encourages me to i quit, but it only lasts for few days and i am back to it again.I must admit i am closer than any other time to get rid of this addiction.I can feel it in the back of my mind.Something inside me is getting stronger and stronger….To all my fellow human beings who have been traped by this habit i say DON’T GIVE UP AND GOD WILL BE WITH YOU IF YOU TRY YOURBEST…….
The journey continues
Hammer said,
03.24.08 at 8:09 pm
I was also exposed to porn at a very young age. I do blame some problems on it but it is not the root of my evils.
I dont think god will condemn anyone for masturbating. You will condemn yourself. Masturbation however is impure and leads to impure lustful thinking of women. I myself masturbate regularly and I am trying to overcome the addiction. It’s not easy when all this stuff is right here on the net. I have lasted a couple of weeks without doing it. but than, I might come home drunk, and…. you know the deal. I feel maybe that if we take it day by day, starting with our thoughts and emotions, we may have a chance. Often, when I have the urge to m.bate, i ask myself…” what is the reason behind this desire?” is it lonlieness, emptiness, lust… what? I think its a mix of all and plus some more. This culture(america) and others have a tendency to portray women in a pornographic manner everywhere we look and this is very harmful to all. Women are looked at as thing to be had… we need to change this…
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05.02.08 at 9:33 am
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Dime said,
05.30.08 at 6:42 am
I’m trying to overcome masturbation. It takes away lots of things in a person’s life, especially spiritual power. I always blame myself for masturbating everytime I finished doing it. Its like a spirit tempts me and I could feel that spirit around me. I’m very spiritual and this is my only weak point in life. This spirit exploits it too much. Its a way the spirit gets me to sin against God most times if he can’t succeed in different ways. I am ready to stop now. I must stop and drive this spirit away. I don’t think of sex anytime i’m in church. I feel like I’ve gained more power. Immediately I get back home, I feel the urge to masturbate right away. That spirit takes away lots of spiritual blessings away from me after I get them through masturbation. I must stop masturbating. I promise myself to stop. Once and for all.
Zach said,
06.24.08 at 5:36 am
Since I was 13, I have had this “addiction” and it seems never to end. Everyday I see something somewhere that tempts me and after a while it just rips me apart. This is the first time I have ever said it out loud… It keeps taking control of my life and I don’t want this anymore. After seeing what these people on this site have written I finally realized that I am not alone. Cause recently I feel like an outcast to the people around me. I just… feel like as soon as I am doing good some problem rises out of no where and throws me back on the ground. I really feel like I have no fight left inside of me. But coming here has shown me that I can keep fighting and I will pray for you all also. Maybe God will pull us all out. I hope so because I am on the verge of destruction inside of me. I have to end this on going curse that has plagued my soul. I must stop masturbation. I not only promise myself but quietly promise my loved ones and God. Please God get me through this…
anonymous said,
06.30.08 at 9:36 am
I have to agree with what most of the articles are saying…Mastubation and porn addiction is ruining my life. I am blessed with a loving family and loving relationship. Both these addicitons have somewhat distorted my mind and thinking. It always makes me feel guilty and I am never happy each time I succumb to my temptations. I feel really bad and sorry to my girl friend. Dhe deserves someone better. Not some porn addicted guy. I know what I did is wrong and I am determine to get things right. But each time I decided to quit, my addiction pulls me back unexpectedly. Be it from stress or whatever. Not only that I am also ruining my studies as I am doing things which I am not suppose to do… i know what I do is wrong and I am in the process of correcting things. I am so so sorry to myself and evryone around me. Hopefully I’ll find enough strength to pull things around. I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT..!!
Anonynmous said,
07.10.08 at 8:30 am
Although some of us may be religious, its important to remember that not every one here is. Ive been struggling with porn addiction my whole life and masturbation. I will never give up fighting it, and I know this perseverence in my soul is a good thing. No matter how many times I relapse or make mistakes, no matter how big the binge, I will never quit my resolve to quit. I will quit this and one day, one day I will succeed. Even if it takes me my whole life. This is what makes a man. May we all be helped.